He gets closer to Caleb. He bonds with Macy again. They remember what it was like before. And he sees that with her, he could have the one thing I’ll never be able to give him.
A child. A family.
The kind of life I wanted with him was ripped away by fate.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I whisper.
The words barely leave my mouth before he grabs me again, crushing me to him like I’m air and he’s been suffocating.
“No. No, baby, don’t say that. You can’t do this to me. You can’t leave me. I’m begging you… don’t go. I can’t breathe without you, Dee.” He’s shaking. Breathing like he’s run a marathon.
“I’ll walk away from them if you ask me to. I’ll cut ties. I’ll give up the only son I’ll ever have, even if it kills me. If that’s what it takes to keep you, I’ll do it.”
“No,” I whisper into his chest, my tears soaking through his shirt. “I’dneverask you to do that. I couldn’t.”
And it’s the truth.
Even though I want to rip this chapter out of our story, I can’t punish Caleb for being born. None of this is that little boy’s fault. He deserves to know how incredible his father is.
Colt cups my face in his hands, his voice breaking. “I’ll b-beg if I have to, baby.”
I lift my hand and run it across his damp cheek. His lips tremble. I rise on my toes and kiss him—soft, tender, aching. He kisses me back like it’s the last thing holding him together.
When we break apart, he presses his forehead to mine.
“I can’t lose you,” he whispers, wiping the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs. “I won’t survive it.”
I kiss him again because I can’t not.
Because I still love him.
Because he’s mine, even if it’s only for now.
I don’t know what tomorrow looks like.
I don’t know how this ends.
But today?
Today I can’t leave him.
He’s my kryptonite.
And I’m powerless.
“I love you so much, Colt.” My voice trembles. “I know I’m struggling with this. I want to be happy for you. I want it so badly it physically hurts.”
He cups my face again, his thumb brushing the corner of my eye where another tear escapes. “The fact that you want to be happy for me… that’s more than enough, Dee.” His voice is low, thick with conviction. “I don’t expect joy. Hell, I’d be surprised if this wasn’t tearing you apart. I know it is. And I hate myself for that.” He presses his forehead to mine again, his grip tightening like he needs the contact to stay upright.
“I’ll spend every second of every day proving to you that you come first. I don’t care how long it takes, I’ll earn your trust back. I don’t know what it looks like yet, but I swear to you, Dee… you will never feel like you’re not my priority because you are. You always have been.” He pauses, his breath catching, then adds, “Not even music could make me happy if you weren’t in my life.”
That hits me like a punch to the gut.
Music is everything to Colt. His soul. His release. The one thing he’s clung to since he was a kid.
But now,I’m his everything?
I swallow the lump in my throat, blinking through fresh tears. I can’t walk away from him. Not because I’m weak, but because I know what it would do to him.To us.
