Right on cue, it vibrates.
Hisface appears on the screen, and despite everything, I smile.
I swipe to answer.
And, just like always, I say nothing.
“Hey, baby, I hope you’re having a good night. I was thinking about you earlier. Well, let’s be realistic… I never stop thinking about you. Anyway, I was thinking about being back home in two weeks and hoping I could see you. I mean, only if you want me to.”
Hiswords hang in the air, and panic sets in.
My heart leaps at the thought of seeinghim, but my head reminds me why it’s a bad idea. I want this—Iwanthim—but what’s the point?
Thereisno point.
“Anna can come too if you don’t want to be alone with me, or Johnny, or hell… everyone can come if you want, or not…”Hepauses. “You don’t have to say anything now. Just think about it, okay?”
My heart betrays me, answering before my mind can catch up. “Okay,” I whisper.
I hearhissharp inhale on the other end, the sound stealing my breath, too.
“Oh, baby, you don’t know how good it is to hear your voice. I’ve missed it so much. I’ve missed you so much, Dee.”Hesniffs, and that makes me tear up. “Maybe tomorrow night we can talk a bit more?”
My heart pounds as I hesitate, the war between my head and heart raging. But then, before I can stop myself—
“Okay,” I breathe out again, releasing a shaky exhale.
“You don’t have to say anything else if you don’t want to, baby. That should last me until tomorrow. We can talk about anything you want for as long or as little as you like. We’replaying by your rules, and I’ll do whatever you want me to,”hestates, making me feel better about my decision.
I know Joseph would have a fit ifheknew I was listening tohimon the phone every night, let alone making plans to have a conversation withhimtomorrow night.
“Okay, it’s getting late. Would you like me to sing you to sleep again?”Hepauses, waiting.
“Yes,” I answer, my voice softer than I intend.
I hearhisquiet sigh of relief.
“You got it. Here’s one I was working on today.”
Ashisvoice fills the silence, the tension in my chest eases. I may not be able to be nearhim, but in this moment, just hearinghimmakes the distance almost bearable.
***
After sliding into bed, I plug in my phone and rest it on my chest, waiting.
I glance at the clock—one minute late.
A flicker of unease settles in my stomach.
Something feels…off.
I can’t explain it, but I feel it deep in my bones.
Five minutes pass.
I grab my phone, pressing the screen to check for a missed call, a message—something.
But there is nothing.
