“Yeah, I’m good,” I grunt, shoving the pain and thoughts of Ember aside as I push off the ground. I don’t have the luxury of weakness because my men are counting on me. Movement on the ground catches my eye as one of the shooters take aim and just as he gets a shot off, Steel rushes past me, taking him down, but not before his shot slices through my chest.
My vision blurs, the searing pain dropping me to my knees. Out of all my years in the Royal Bastards, I’ve never been shot, and fuck it hurts. I hit the ground hard and Steel’s there in a flash, his face tense with worry.
“We got them all, Mav,” he tells me, crouching beside me. “Mules are safe.”
“Guess Jameson will have to find another excuse to chew us out,” I chuckle weakly, trying to lighten my brothers expressions. We’ve seen injuries before, but fuck, losing Renegade last week hit us all hard. I can’t really blame them for the looks on their faces.
“Stay with me, Prez,” Steel says urgently, pressing his hand to my chest wound as Lone heads for the van. My breaths are shallow, each one harder than the last. “We’re getting you to the hospital.”
“If… I … don’t…” my words catch, as I struggle to speak. “Steel… tell Ember… I… love her.”
“You tell her yourself, Mav,” he retorts, his voice tight with determination to keep me alive. Every breath scalds my lungs, the pain cutting deeper. Darkness closes in on my vision as exhaustion floods through me. As my awareness fades, my mind circles back to Ember, to everything I’ll never get the chance to say. If fucking up was an Olympic sport, I’d win the gold. Tiresscreech nearby as Steel and the others lift me, rushing me into the van, but I can’t hold on any longer. The shadows welcome me, a strange peace settling within, as if my demons have finally come to claim their due.
TWENTY-THREE
EMBERLYNNE
Settlinginto the quiet comfort of my father’s home in Sturgis, my mind wanders back to those last few days in Atlanta. When I first called him asking if I could come home with him, I’d planned on just a brief visit. But as we tied up my affairs, I realized I needed more than just a few days; I needed real distance from Silas and everything that happened. Deciding to sell the house had been a tough call, but my sanctuary felt tainted, clouded by lies and the haunting memory of Fury’s presence. I knew it wasn’t really home anymore.
As we drove west, mile after mile brought a strange calm, easing the constant ache and storm of emotions that plagued me. The high-rise buildings of city life gradually melting into openness of plains and beautiful landscapes. Somehow, the memories felt distant now, softened around the edges, though it had only been a little over a week at the time.
Now, since a month has passed, I realize this was exactly what I needed to think clearly. It has nothing to do with my love for Silas. In fact, it’s because I love him so deeply that I couldn’t stay there or be near him. Hearing his voice might be enough tobreak my resolve and I know he doesn’t deserve to get off that easily.
At first I felt a twinge of guilt about not telling Silas my plans, but he’d kept a whole life hidden from me, and I owed him nothing. Maybe it was petty, but a part of me wanted him to feel the sting of betrayal too, to feel even a fraction of the hurt that’s been consuming me. Rest was hard to come by, even with the meds the doctor prescribed, each small sound sent my anxiety spiking. The next day I reached out to our real estate agent and my lawyer, determined to sever my ties with Silas completely. I didn’t want a drawn-out battle or to divide our lives in a courtroom. He’d already done that the moment he chose to keep his other life a secret.
“Em, dinner’s almost ready,” my dad calls from the kitchen, treating me like a little girl again… and I let him. Everything that happened shook him, so I know he needs this time to look after me.
“I’m going to walk Piper first, and then be right in,” I reply, heading for the door. Piper was released just in time for our road trip, and the way she bounded to me said it all. She’s loving the fresh country air and open space as much as I am. The property is massive, allowing my pup to run until her little heart’s content.
After a quick stroll around the front yard, Piper and I step back inside, greeted by the mouth-watering aroma of fresh basil, tomatoes, and garlic filling the air. Dad’s made his famous lasagna with homemade bread and even prepared a special treat for Piper. She darts straight to her bowl, filled with steak bites, rice, and eggs. It’s her absolute favorite meal.
Sitting to my father’s left, we dig in, enjoying a comfortable silence as we eat. It’s as good as I remember and I take my time, savoring every bite.
“You know, Em, I’ve been thinking about all this,” he begins, his voice calm, yet firm. “What Silas did… it hurt you, I get that. But sometimes, running away only puts the pain on hold.” Setting my fork down, I wipe my mouth with my napkin and take a gulp of red wine, feeling the weight of his words. Not wanting to respond, I wait to see where he’s going with this.
“Your mom and I had our share of troubles, times I thought we’d never get past. Even with her fire, she was always better at forgiveness than I was. Looking back, I can see it’s what kept us strong during our challenging moments,” he says, placing his hand over mine. I knows he’s about to share the words I need to hear but I’m not sure I’m ready to accept them. “Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting what happened, or saying it was okay.. It’s about releasing the anger so it doesn’t eat you alive.”
His words, although hard to hear, strike a nerve. I’m comfortable in my anger toward Silas, giving me the emotional detachment that I need to try to understand why he didn’t give me all of him. I gave him so much of me that I lost some of who I was. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, because I wanted to be everything he needed without letting my past tarnish what we were building.
“He made a mistake, Emberlynne. A big one,” he continues. Using my full name, compels me to look him in the eye and absorb his wisdom instead of ignoring him like a defiant child. “But, people make mistakes, especially when they think they’re protecting someone they love. You don’t owe him a damn thing, but giving him a chance to explain could give you both the peace you need to truly move forward. As much as I love having you here, running doesn’t end the hurt, it just delays it.”
And there it is. My father’s words hit me deeper than I wanted to admit. The idea of even listening to Silas feels like peeling back a barely closed wound, but maybe dad is right. I cansee the concern in his eyes, the quiet foresight of someone who has seen what forgiveness can do.
“Think about it, Em. I’m only saying something because I love you, and I just don’t want you carrying this around forever. Give yourself a chance to move forward, even if it’s just to hear him out.” Mulling over his words, the silence stretches between us and suddenly the quiet is not so comfortable. It’s stifling, causing me to think and acknowledge things that I buried beneath my anger.
“I hear you, Dad,” I say softly, meeting his eyes once more. “Forgiveness is not always easy, but I’ll think about what you said, I promise,” I assure him, excusing myself from the table. Suddenly I’m not hungry and just want to be alone with my thoughts.
“One more thing before you go. Maverick may not have been honest with you, Em, but I know without a doubt that man loves you. I didn’t give him my blessing to marry you, but that didn’t stop him.”
This revelation leaves me speechless. Silas had asked my father for permission to marry me and I had no idea. For a moment, a flicker of anger rises at the thought of yet another secret kept from me, but it quickly fades as I picture a defiant Silas determined to marry me even against my father’s wishes. When he proposed, he told me he couldn’t imagine life without me, and that he’d never loved anyone the way he loves me. His words left me breathless and saying yes was the easiest decision I’d ever made.
“Take all the time you need, sweetheart. You’ll figure it out,” he says, rising to give me a hug. His embrace is warm, comforting, and reassuring. I have a lot to think about and I know just the place that will give me some peace and open my heart toward a path of forgiveness.
“Thank you, dad. Goodnight,” I say, before heading to my bedroom.
Piper follows close, jumping on the bed as soon as I shut my door. Taking a quick shower, I think about how my father’s life is so simple now compared to growing up in an MC. He’d been the VP of the Rebel Riders, road name Butcher, and he lived up to his reputation. Once my mother was murdered, his passion for that life changed. But the straw that broke the camel’s back was when my big brother EJ took a life, which in turn put my life in danger. Everything spiraled out of control and he wanted out. The club was a constant reminder of what he’d lost and left him with a lifetime of regrets. My brother is still a part of the MC, but he understands why our father retired and the President assured him that he’d keep an eye on him.
Slipping beneath the covers, Piper snuggles in at the end of the bed, while I get my kindle off the nightstand. Reading always helps me relax, helping me escape my reality. I know I’ll have to confront everything sooner rather than later, but for now, I just want to push it out of my mind. Even so, I can’t stop thinking about Silas and how much I miss him.
