It’s what Grayson fights within himself.Relax and enjoy our love or be the totally committed General with room for nothing else?But once you’ve tasted the sweet, it is hard to go back to just the sour.
“Those are not bad things, Caemorn,” Ryder said.“You deserve happiness.”
“Balthazar needs me,” Caemorn said simply.And there was the briefest smile on his lips and light in his eyes.Kaly Vampires were not known for showing any tenderness to their fledglings.It was the complete opposite to Weryn Vampires and yet here was Caemorn, a proud Sire and Grandsire.Indulgent with Balthazar.Attentive to Christian.Tender to Julian. Being let in from the cold had changed Caemorn–and Kaly–forever. “He needs…”
“A Master.A brother.A friend.Yeah, I sort of got that.”Ryder smiled back and felt a strange twist in his gut.He thought of Legion and the Weryn Vampires he had kicked out of his Bloodline.Compared to Caemorn’s devotion, his actions appeared ill-tempered, selfish and cruel.Were they?Clearing his throat, Ryder added, “And you’re giving it to him.I don’t think Balthazar’s ever been happier.”
“And I need…” Here it was clearly harder to say, but Caemorn forced it out, “And I need them.To be those things to Balthazar and to have the others… as friends.The laughter.The warmth…” Here Caemorn’s lips writhed back from his teeth as if it hurt to say these things or admit them to anyone, including himself. “Accepted.I am accepted.And I wish Christian and Julian to embrace their Kaly gifts.Not to feel freakish.Most Kaly are chosen for their dispassion.Their ability to ignore what others think and feel.But Balthazar desperately cares what others think.He knows all they believe about him.And the boys are…” Caemorn swallowed, “They are strong, but fragile, too.The Kaly gift can be troubling.But I am intent on them not fearing it.”
“And you’re doing that as well,” Ryder assured him.
This was the most he had ever heard Caemorn say about himself or his motives.These were people close to his heart.He was sharing this with Ryder.It was hard to see the connection now between Caemorn and Kaly.Between Caemorn and Roan.
“Yes.”But then Caemorn was focused.“You said you believe they are in the catacombs.”
“I think they might be using an old entrance that leads from outside of the walls to Daemon’s tomb,” Ryder said then stopped.“Daemon being there obscured anyone noticing that Nightvallen had been breached.I missed Roan even being there because of it.But now, of course, Daemon is not there, but we all avoid it.”
“So it leads into the city and–”
“Into the Kaly Palace,” Ryder said carefully.“I thought you would have known.There’s supposedly a direct… What?Clearly, I’ve hidden the ball from you this time.”
Caemorn’s head had snapped in the direction of his palace.“I know where they are.”
“In your palace?”Ryder said it but that was impossible.He would know if anyone was in his palace and Caemorn was doubly as careful as he was.
But Roan is him so…
“No, there is a space right behind a wall that...We must get there.”Caemorn cocked his head.“I do not hear Balthazar in my mind.He is silent.He is never silent.”
Ryder couldn’t help but wonder if Balthazar was constantly prattling on to Caemorn about everyday things.He’d likely been telling him about what was happening with Grayson and the others.Now he was silent?Ryder’s heart dropped into his feet.
“We must get to Daemon’s tomb,” Caemorn said.“I had hoped to have Wyverns take us–”
“We don’t need them.”Ryder offered his hand to Caemorn even as his stomach fell to join his heart in his feet at the thought of where they were going. “Trust me?”
Caemorn lifted an eyebrow, but nodded.
And then Ryder shifted.First, into a being very like Tarn and Farun, but more massive with a black pelt and silver eyes.He scooped Caemorn off of Neboa–the horse let out a shrill whinny of fright–and he leap-climbed up the wall of Nightvallen with Caemorn under one arm.Tarn and Farun let out howls and started climbing after them.There was a hunt!Something to chase!Something to kill!Something to eat!
The howls and his shift were heard and felt by his Bloodline.He could imagine them lifting their heads up into the air, sniffing, as nightshine rolled through their silver eyes.He couldn’t communicate in complex thoughts to them like Balthazar, but he realized he truly was connected with them all.
He was able to send two commands.For Siban and Demos to converge upon him and for the rest of the pack to continue their patrols around Nightvallen.All were on high alert now.Small noises that had seemed like the rustle of trees in the night wind would be checked.A stray scent that didn’t belong would be investigated.And they would be prepared for danger at every turn.
Once Ryder and Caemorn reached the top, Ryder shifted once more into his unkindness of ravens’ form.But he didn’t release the Kaly Vampire.Instead, Caemorn was born aloft by the ravens as he flew them to the gold-domed building they had all assiduously avoided.
Ryder could claim that he had not known who he was when he originally came to Nightvallen.Daemon’s tomb was but a historical oddity, nothing that he was connected to.But now he knew quite a bit differently.
Caemorn stood within the unkindness without bobbing or swaying at all.Ryder could feel his intense concentration on the gold dome.Ryder’s many eyes showed his snapshots of it and all around it.
The square it was in was empty.There were no Vampires circling its glass walls or peering in at the empty stone altar where Daemon had laid for so long.Unlike the rest of Nightvallen which was alive with people, lights, color, sights, sounds and smells, there was a sepulchral silence and feel to the whole place.
Caemorn pointed to where they should set down.Ryder dove down.Caemorn stepped out of the unkindness again without a bobble.Ryder became his human form and the cloak of many feathers covered his shoulders.
“I wore this the night I died,” Ryder whispered, unwilling to lift his voice.
Caemorn surprised him by placing a hand on his shoulder.“Death is not the end.There is no terror in it.I am here.”
Ryder nodded after a moment.He let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding.
