Don’t be too angry at me, Grayson!Balthazar’s voice flickered in his mind.
I notice that you’re asking menotto be angry with you when you’renotin front of me,Grayson growled.Not to mention Ryder’s nowhere near.
There was a pregnant silence from the Eyros Vampire.Finally, Balthazar said,You wanted to see her.I arranged it.
I didn’t even know I wanted to see her!So unless you’re taking on Seeyr’s gift–
Were you not thinking as you went into the dorms that you ought to face this?Balthazar wheedled.
I… yes, but you had to arrange this RachelbeforeI thought that,Grayson pointed out.
Another pregnant silence.Grayson almost would have laughed if it wouldn’t have completely unnerved Rachel.
That’s only because I knew you would think it eventually!He could almost imagine Balthazar giving him his most winsome smile as he pleaded this.
You’re really something, Balthazar!Grayson shook his head.You’re lucky I love you.
I am very lovable,Balthazar agreed happily.
Any other surprises I should expect tonight?Grayson asked.
No, no, nothing I can think of… at the moment,Balthazar added.
I don’t want to know,Grayson sighed.
“Grayson?Are you–are you okay?” Rachel asked as he had been silent too long.
“Ah, yeah, I was just… nevermind.”Grayson waved a hand.He smiled at her.“Look, I was shocked and… and I thought I could just leave the past behind.There’s so much I want to forget.”
Grayson put a hand to his head.Even talking about this was causing pressure to build in his head again. It was as if he were trying to physically push out the memories even as he recognized that he had to accept them.
“I thought it would make you happy on some level,” she said.“Did it?”
“I don’t know.I think it made me regret…” Here he paused before adding, “Leaving behind the past is easy when there’s nothing good in it.”
“Your mother is good, Grayson.”She squeezed his hands in her smaller ones.“She’s worth remembering.She’s worth taking into the future.”
Grayson gritted his teeth.“I don’t know if Iwantto take her with me.”
She swallowed as her eyes flickered over his face.“She’s not the only one, Grayson.I don’t know what happened after you left us, but–”
“I forced myself not to think about you, Rachel.Not you.Not her,” he found himself saying without conscious thought.“You were my best friend, but I kept picturing the look on my mother’s face on yours when you knew what I’d done.”
It was so hard now for him to remember Grayson’s memories.But they wanted to break through.He heard childish laughter from long ago.There was sunlight.So much sunlight.And Rachel was on the swing next to him.Her hair was in pigtails.There was a chocolate stain on her yellow shirt–her favorite shirt–and they were making up a story together.They were two adventurers heading on a quest for treasure!They were a lord and lady fighting pirates on the high seas!They were spies heading into enemy territory to save the world!
She would have loved to find out about me having powers.She would have loved knowing I am Ashyr.His eyes flickered up to her.And I could tell her.She could know.She could be happy with me.Make me see the joy in it too in another way.
“I wouldneverhave turned you away.”She held onto his hands tighter still. “However you killed that bastard, I was glad.You protected yourself and your mom.I don’t know how you did it.But I’m glad!I’ve always been glad!”
He shaded his eyes with one hand.Tears threatened to run down his cheeks.A cry that seemed lodged in his throat was loosening, wanting to come out.It was a cry he’d been holding in for far too long.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” he whispered.“There’s so much going onnow.To bring up the past–this past–is not… notwise.”
“You don’t have to, Grayson.If you want to just go forward and never talk about it, that’s fine,” she said.“But… but I want you to know that I can help you carry whatever weight you have now.I can help you.I want to help you.”
He nodded.Words were too hard right now.He wasn’t sure how long they stood there.Her holding one of his hands and him just staring into space.
Unsurprisingly, it was Mairead who called back to them, “Guys, the game is starting rightnow.”
