Grayson’s eyes widened.“Is he?I suppose he recognizes the danger of emotional attachments–”
“No, that’s not it at all,” Ryder interrupted smoothly.“He thinks the opposite actually.He’s worried that you will withdraw into the cold, logical part of yourself and cut off your softer side.”
Grayson’s mouth opened and shut for a moment with no words escaping him.Finally, he got out, “But surely he sees the dangers in allowing myself to be ruled by a wounded boy’s feelings?!”
It was a bleat of pain, which just proved that he was being ruled by them to some extent no matter what he wanted to tell himself.
“Knowing Caemorn he likely sees most everything.But my guess is that he’s looking into the past rather than the future,” Ryder let out a breath.“Who we used to be allowed us to enter into the War.The softer sides of us–the sides that came from being reborn as human–are what is allowing us to work together now.To see our mistakes more clearly.He fears that you see no value in this life.That you won’t take any lessons from it.”
“And he tells you this and not me because?”Grayson already knew why.His offended tone couldn’t quite hide that knowledge.
Ryder kissed his temple.“Because he thinks you listen to me.”
“I do.”Grayson closed his eyes.“I love you so much.I just want to keep you and everyone else safe.This thing with my–my mother feels so unnecessary to that.”
“It’s necessary to you,” Ryder said.
“Is it?Should it be?Twenty-five years is all I’ve lived in this form.Most of that time, I wasn’t even with her,” Grayson said with a shake of his head as he opened his eyes again.
“Mother is the same as God on a child’s lips,” Ryder murmured.
“She wasn’t a bad person!She wasn’t even a bad mother!She just made mistakes,” Grayson said.“Big ones at the end, but she tried to fix it.But it was too late.”
“Does knowing that she didn’t reject you because of your gifts help you any?”Ryder asked as they strolled past the fountain.
“I don’t know if that’s true.It’s the story you’d tell a reporter to make yourself look good.It’s the story you might even tell yourself to assuage your conscience,” Grayson pointed out.“I think the truth will be more complicated.”
“Such as?”
“That she was afraid of me.That part of her was glad I was gone.And that part of her was thrilled I’d killed him and saved her,” Grayson said flatly.“But I don’t think she wanted me back.Not one-hundred percent for sure.”
“Could she have looked for you and not found you?”Ryder asked.
“Possibly.I hid myself well.I was scared of being found by the police.And then through the policy by scientists or the government,” Grayson admitted with a shrug.“I didn’t even consider the idea that she might look for me.”
Ryder tightened his hold on Grayson’s arm.“You were afraid of what you’d done, too, I’m sure.”
But Grayson shook his head violently.“No.When I used my powers on him, I feltright.I had no doubts.That was what scared me.How easily I had killed someone–someone who deserved it, mind you–but wasn’t scarred by it.What I didn’t know, of course, was that I’ve killed countless people in far worse ways.But I thought I was just a kid.I had no idea of the life I’d led before.”
“If you had been caught, I wonder if we would have found you sooner,” Ryder said with a grimace.“There’s always a chance that a newborn Vampire could lose control and show their powers.Someone might have been watching for just such a report.”
“Maybe.I thought I hated Vampires for so long, because they might expose me.How ironic that they would have saved me,” Grayson admitted and rested his head on Ryder’s shoulder once more.
The Kaly Palace was not far away.Each of the palaces had their own flavor reflecting the personality of the Immortal whose palace it was, Kaly’s was the most Vampire-esque.It looked like a gothic cathedral with high, pointed towers, narrow stained glass windows, and dark stone.A bright green flame–oddly, the color of spring shoot–burned at the very top to let all know that the Immortal Kaly had returned and claimed his palace.
“That is the creepiest palace I’ve ever seen.It looks like a crypt,” Ryder stated as they stood at the bottom of the stairs before the sharply arched front doors to the Kaly Palace.“Do you suppose Caemorn feels the same way?And that’s why he spends so much time at the Eyros Palace?”
“He is at the Eyros Palace so often because he views Balthazar as his fledgling, best friend and safety net,” Grayson said.“But maybe the creepy palace does give an additional reason.”
They grinned at one another.
Before they had taken a step up the stairs, the doors opened and Balthazar was revealed in the ghostly light of hundreds of soul gems.“Ack!Bone Bear, stop it!Stop humping my leg!”
Grayson’s eye widened as he saw a bear, made of bones, attempting to jump up on Balthazar like a rather large puppy.
Balthazar turned his head to yell back into the interior of the palace, “If you don’t get Bone Bear under control, I’ll tell everyone that he is just expressing your secret feelings for me!”
“Yes, my secret feelings that are so secret it is almost as if I do not have them,” Caemorn replied dryly as he came up behind Balthazar and Bone Bear.“Good, you’ve arrived.The prisoners are prepared.”
