“She was the parent, the adult, so she did not value your counsel,” Kaito said as he tucked the blanket further around Grayson.“And she was lonely, so she did not wish to believe you were right.”
“I felt like…” Grayson took in a shuddering breath, “that we were in it together.That we were partners.And then she just threw me away and didn’t care about what I felt or knew.”
Kaito continued to stroke his head.Grayson shut his eyes.His head was throbbing.
“But did my anger blind me?Life on the streets, Kaito, it was…” Grayson’s throat was so tight that he could barely speak, “it wasbad.”
Kaito drew in a deep breath and slowly let it out.He had clearly feared it was so.Grayson had not even told Ryder about much of this.
“I hate feeling weak.Helpless.A victim.But that’s what I felt like every single day on the streets,” Grayson confessed.“Even though I had these powers.”He stuck his hands out from under the covers and curled them into fists.“They didn’t make me feel strong or invincible.They made me feel weak.Because if anyone knew–if anyone knew–then I would behunted.”
Kaito tightened his hold on Grayson.“I am so sorry, Master.To think you were in this world–suffering–and I did not know.”
“The thing is… the thing is that I think Seeyr did know,” Grayson confessed quietly.
This was so hard to say, because he loved Seeyr and he knew she loved him.But her gift was a cruel one.It sometimes forced her to be cruel to get the outcome that she needed for Daemon.
Kaito stiffened.“Why would she not say something?We would have gotten you at least three months earlier!”
“Three months wouldn’t have made much difference.”
“Every moment you thought yourself alone and friendless, without a family, is too long!”Kaito insisted.“Your heart grew more heavy and your spirit filled with ice every second you believed yourself singular.”
Was that true?Even though he’d gotten some form of stability recently, had he continued to shrink in on himself?Yes.He couldn’t even imagine what he thought his life was going to be.
Small.Insignificant.Alone.
“Because it had to go this way.Just like Seeyr had to suffer in the Spire.I had to be where I was, like I was, to reveal the Sect of Dawn’s plan,” he whispered.“If I had grown up in a secure home, it would have been different.I would have been different.”
“No wonder you want to leave that all behind,” Kaito said with a disgusted shake of his head.He held Grayson tight to him. “You were not safe or loved as you should have been.But that is over, Master.You are not in that place anymore.Not with those people anymore.”
Grayson just let himself be held and rocked.He knew that Kaito’s reaction was, in part, due to guilt about not being there when Kaly killed him, and the horror at the thought of him as a defenseless child.He should assure his fledgling that he was fine.That there was nothing to worry about.That he didn’t need to be taken care of.He was the Master.Yet he just felt so comforted being right here with someone who loved him and had loved him for so long let something uncoil within him.
He didn’t know when the others came in.But Dani slipped onto the couch on the other side of him and Nero knelt in front of him.Eiji stayed in the threshold of the room.Though it had not been told to him directly, he knew that Grayson was Ashyr.He stayed close but not too close was to show respect for the future Immortal of his Bloodline.
Dani put a hand on his side while Nero rubbed Grayson’s hands as if he was chilled.Grayson told himself to sit up and tell everyone that though he appreciated their caring, everything was fine.He was fine!It was all just fine!
But he had no strength to do it.Instead, he just let his eyes shut again and remained shut.Sleep plucked at him.He was warm and safe and loved. His fledglings were all around him.The only thing that would make this better was if Ryder was here.But he would be.
Grayson must have fallen asleep.It was glorious and deep.Very deep.Because he hadn’t woken when Ryder had come back with Julian and Daemon.He hadn’t woken when his fledglings had switched out with Ryder or when Nero had taken Eiji back to the dorms.Grayson was still on the couch, but now laying fully out with his head cradled against Ryder’s broad, muscular chest.But he didn’t fully wake, just stayed in an inbetween place, listening to them talk.
“...but if the young man wasn’t a student or an Acolyte, how did he get here without us knowing?”Julian’s voice rose up in distress.
“None get through the gates without me knowing,” Daemon’s voice was a firm rumble.
“Since a few months ago,” Ryder pointed out.
“What do you mean?”Demos asked.
“You, Christian, Selene and Heath got in without him knowing.Not to mention your parents came and went dozens of times, Julian,” Ryder pointed out.
“It is true.I was still deeply asleep until Julian arrived in the city.Then I began to rouse,” Daemon admitted.
“Do you remember when the Immortals came to feed you?Weryn spoke of doing this before the War,” Siban asked.
Silence fell and then Daemon stated, “No, my consciousness was far from this place.”
“That means that until a few months ago, you were unaware of who was coming and going into Nightvallen,” Ryder pointed out.
