“Thank God for that. I’ll schedule an appointment for you. It might take two to get through?—”
“Alright, can we stop talking about my jungle hair?”
“Sorry, but I’ve never seen anything so mismanaged in all my life.”
“Well, it’s not like I met anyone recently that I’d want to take home.”
“No, but you’ve been in love with Liam for years. What if you got drunk one night and decided to take him home? He’d be flossing with your pubes!”
“Oh my God! Would you stop? It’s not that bad!”
“It is exactly that bad. I think you should actually trim before you go in for a wax because you do not want anyone seeing you that hairy.”
“Fine! I’ll trim first. Can we stop talking about this now?”
“All I’m saying is it’s a good thing we had this talk. Imagine if you had gone on an actual date with him. What if things had gotten heated?”
“Yes, I get your point. I will be sure to clean myself up before anything actually happens between us.”
“I just don’t get it. How could you have been pining for him all this time and not taken care of that?”
“Because I didn’t actually think anything would ever happen!” I shouted, admitting just how bleak a future with him had looked until now.
She was stunned silent for a moment, then nodded. “Well, now that we know just how likely it is that you’ll finally get your wish, we need to make sure we take care of this ASAP. And I’ll say nothing else on the subject.”
“Thank you.”
We stood in silence for a moment, but I knew it was coming. Rolling my eyes, I waved her on. “Just get it over with.”
I covered my ears as she started screeching outThe Lion Sleeps Tonight.
“Well, that was interesting,” I muttered after the first verse.
When she didn’t stop, I went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. She stood right outside, singing at the top of her lungs. I opened the towel and looked down at the mess between my thighs.
It really was a jungle.
“Now,remember, this is just another dinner. He may have whispered sexy words in your ear, but until you go out alone, this is just another?—”
“I’ve got it!” I said testily. “You’ve already said that ten times.”
“I know. I just want you to relax.”
“And you really think that can be achieved by you saying the same thing over and over? You’re going to give me a complex.”
Shaking her hands out, she walked away from me, finally giving me space. “I know. You’re right. God, why am I so nervous?”
Oddly, I had calmed down quite a bit over the past hour, while she had only gotten more ramped up. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time and took a deep breath. I was ready for this.
“You look beautiful,” Cheyenne whispered, coming to stand beside me.
She was being so dramatic. It was nauseating. Turning, I pushed her back a step. “Alright, Mother. You can stop with the histrionics.”
“It’s just…this is what we’ve been waiting for…”
“Cheyenne, I’m fine. My freakout is over. I’m calm and ready for tonight. Besides, like you said, this has been a long time coming.”
She nodded, taking a deep breath just as the buzzer rang. Her head whipped toward the door, but I was faster.
