Right now, I desperately needed her.
But I stood in front of her with a blank look on my face, pulling from the ugliest part of my mind to make sure I didn’t voice my needs to her.
“Well, I was just coming to check on you. After everything that happened?—”
“I’m fine,” I cut her off.
Look at me. Just turn your head and let me see those beautiful eyes.
As if she could read my thoughts, her eyes found mine again, but this time, there was steely determination shining in them.
I’d never been so proud of her in all my life, and devastated at the same time.
“Look, about what happened, I’m sorry for all of it.”
“Which part?” I snapped, putting as much bite into my words as possible.
Her lips parted for just a moment before she pressed them tightly together.
“Maybe now isn’t a good time.”
“Now is the only time I’ve got,” she said, refusing to back down. “I’m not sure if you’re mad about the whole knife thing or me coming to the hospital?—”
“Christ, do you ever stop?” I snapped, putting everything into this performance that I could, though it broke my heart.
Stunned by my outburst, she took a step back.
“You just keep pushing. You always think you know best, but did you ever consider that if I wanted something, I would ask for it?”
“I was just trying to help,” she argued.
“And I didn’t ask for it. I ended up in the hospital twice because of you. Is that not enough? Can I have some fucking space without you rushing in to save the day?”
My heart hammered in my chest as I spewed the nasty words at her. Vomit threatened to rise in my throat, but I fought the desire to tell her just how vile the words were.
Her life depended on it.
As I seethed at the words that left my mouth, she straightened her shoulders, refusing to be sunk by my anger. It was what I loved about her so much—that she had the ability to see through my bullshit.
But her life depended on her believing me.
“And what would you like me to do? Should I walk away and leave you? Is that what you’re hoping for with this little performance?”
I barked out a laugh, wishing she would believe it was a performance somewhere deep inside. Even after I pushed her away, even after I broke her heart, I prayed she knew the truth deep in her gut.
“I don’t know, Bailey,” I shook my head, staring at the ground.
Fuck, my heart squeezed painfully as I bit out the horrible words.
“You made this all up in your head. It was a fucking dance,” I spat. “One fucking dance, and suddenly, you and every other person in town turned it into a marriage proposal.”
I took a step forward, trying not to stagger as I walked.
“I never said it would be more. I never once promised you anything, but somehow, you got it in your mind that what we had was more than fucking.”
She flinched, just like I knew she would, but to her credit, there wasn’t a tear in her eyes.
“You’re right. You never said it was more than that. I just never took you for a coward.”
