“Am I to take it we’re back to pretending we’re strangers and ignoring everything that’s happened?”
“I’m not ignoring it.I’m dealing with it.”
“By running until you’re ready to fall down?”
“I’m endeavouring to wrap my head around whatever—” I move my hand back and forth in a flowing motion between us to compensate for the lack of properly descriptive words to express our interactions, “—whatever it is that exists between us.”
I’m trying to get my head to follow where my heart has already gone.
“You’re trying to rationalise fucking me?”
“Jeezus.”I hush her, clasping her upper arm and walking her into a corner, even though we’re the only people here.“Keep your voice down.Have you no notion of what will happen if it gets out that I’m involved with a woman?”
“Other people’s opinions don’t mean that much to me.”
“Yeah, well you don’t have a career that puts you under a spotlight.And you sleeping with a guy isn’t anything out of the ordinary.”
Her eyes narrow as if to suggest that maybe it is, but even if she doesn’t regularly hook up with guys, the world sees what she’s doing as entirely normal.What I’m doing on the other hand is betraying the heck out of a lot of people who look up to me.Dozens upon dozens of people have stepped out of closets because of me.They’ve found their courage because of me, and now, if I pursue this thing with Kira, then I’m giving a voice to all the haters, and the idiots who think we choose to be different, and that homosexuality can be cured.
Look here, Dylan Drake, gay poster boy, man-slut extraordinaire has been converted and settled down to have a proper, respectable relationship with a woman.Next thing you know he’ll be getting married and having kids.
“I’m going in the shower,” I say, cutting the conversation off before she attempts to extend it.“I’ll meet you back upstairs.There’s no need to stand over me.”And in fact, she’s unable to, as this gym isn’t modern enough to have unisex changing facilities.
I spend an inordinately long time in the shower.Until, the growling of my stomach eventually chases me into the cold air.My clothes are damp and rank with sweat.Rather than put them on, I don a bath robe.The distance between here and our room isn’t far, and it’s still extremely early.It’s unlikely that I’ll happen upon anyone who doesn’t work here.
Of course, the very idea that I might walk along a few hotel corridors undetected virtually begs to be contradicted.It’s no bloody surprise then that when I trot through reception there’s a bleeding coach load of tourists checking in…out…shaking it all about.
I don’t get more than a foot across the ghastly paisley carpet before numerous phones find their way into their owners’ hands and my image is being captured and no doubt plastered across social media.
Snapshots I can typically handle.If only it started and ended there, but it never does.All it takes is for one brave soul to step into my path and ask if I would mind awfully if they could have a picture taken with me, and could I possible sign the back of the check-in information sheet they’re holding and the world turns bonkers.I’m inundated.Somehow the belt holding my robe closed slides free of the loops and then disappears altogether.Bearing in mind I have absolutely zilch on underneath, this makes for some particularly awkward poses and hugs.It’s only the arrival of the manager that allows me to exit.
So, I was wrong again.What I ought to have done was insist Kira wait in the gym for me.She’d have had me through this rabble in a heartbeat.
Four of them pile into the lift alongside me, foiling my escape; three giggling girls and one guy.
“Been somewhere?”one girl asks, while shooting side-eyes at her friend, or maybe it’s her sister.They have a familial look to them.Actually, maybe all four of them are related.
“The gym.Hard workout, I got a bit overheated.”
“Do you always exercise in the nude?”asks the girl in the corner.
“What?”It’s only then I realise I didn’t pick up the sweaty clothes I slipped out of.They’re still sitting on a bench in the locker room.“No… I…” Whatever, I don’t owe these people an explanation.
“Are you sure it wasn’t a booty call?”
I’m not sure which of them asks that, or if it’s even a question rather than speculation.
“I’m pretty certain I haven’t seen any hot men roaming about.”
“Huh.”That’s courtesy of the guy, whom I’m assuming is their brother.
“Present company excepted, obviously.But you guys have just arrived.”
Titters result.The guy gives me a bashful smile.It’s a blessed relief that we reach my floor and the lift doors open onto a thankfully empty hallway.
“Nice meeting you.”I step out.
“Go on, Greg, ask him to join you for breakfast.”
