“Jeezus!”This is nuts.What the hell do they think is going to happen to me in here?It’s not like my imaginary stalker is going to float up out of the bowl and then splatter my brains over the tiling.
“Just speed it up.Before anyone decides you’re cruising for customers.”
“Back the fuck off, or that’s exactly what I might take it into my head to do.”I’m sure Bask would oblige.He didn’t attempt to feed me whatever that shit was purely for kicks.Probably imagined it was an easy route into my pants.
I hear the scream of hinges and the clunk, clunk of inner and outer doors opening and closing, then footsteps approaching.
“Oh, are we doing gender free toilets for the evening?”A male voice asks.He’s obviously just spotted Kira.I’m sad I miss the glower she no doubt responds with.
She knocks on the outside of my cubical.“I’ll be right outside.Don’t be long.”
I’ll be as long as it takes.However long that is, and considering what I’m dealing with, that’s likely a deal longer than the two minutes she’s assigned me before she starts getting super pissy.
The moment I’m alone in my own head space, I start mourning the pill I just flushed.No joke, I recite a whole eulogy to the loss of that fucker, and the trip to Technicoloured Woo-Woo-Land it could have whisked me off to.Tonight is totally mucked up.In another ninety minutes I’m supposed to stand up and speak for my tribe, tell the world that while barriers are eroding, it’s still unfair for those of us who choose to love, dress and identify differently.The bigots are still out there.There are still entrenched opinions to bulldoze, and foundations to shake, but we’re stronger than we’ve ever been, and we do have voices that are being heard.We areallmaking a difference.We no longer have to hide our true colours and pretend that we’re straight or the gender the doctor’s assigned us at birth or whatever, or face devastating repercussions.
I’ve not once, ever, pretended that I was straight.
Playing ostensibly straight characters doesn’t count.That’s not me.It’s a persona I pull on for a while.
I’ve suffered the pain and consequences of my refusal to conform.Had folks try to beat the queerness out of me, and worse.So why do I feel like a great big blinkin’ fraud?Not a single goddamned thing has happened between Kira and me, but she’s right there in my head melting age old synaptic connections and soldering new ones.
I just need to remind myself who I truly am.
Eventually, I fix on my charmer’s smile and emerge from the cubicle ready to roar at anyone who might insinuate that I’m even remotely straight.The only person in the washroom takes one look at me and sniggers like I’m wearing my undies on the outside of my trousers.The mood I’m in, the only reason they don’t get punched in the face is down to them being a long-time friend and ally.
“I hear the studio have had you tagged.”
“Fuck off, Ronnie.”
“Darling, you know fucking’s not something that rocks me.”My fellowSunsettersactor falls into the embrace I open my arms wide for.Ron’s still as regal and unquantifiable as ever.Labels of every kind slide right off.
“You’re looking good.”
“Vintage Chanel.”
I trace a finger over the front lapel of the three-piece suit jacket.“You always dress to perfection, but I didn’t mean the suit.”
“Your charm’s wasted on me.You know that.”
I do
“So what’s Mister Bankable doing sulking about in the lavs?”
The description brings a chuckle to my lips.“Have you been tuning in, Ronnie?I didn’t think Oldrich was your thing, the bastard I’m playing or the show in general.”
“Too much flesh on display, darling.And you know how I feel about the exchange of fluids.”
Yeah, I know, I don’t even need to clock the shiver of revulsion that runs through my dear friend’s scrawny frame to remind me.
“I can’t count you among my converts, then?”
“Haven’t seen an episode.Not even you’re enticement enough to endure the damage it would cause to my pearly-whites.”
“Yeah, we wouldn’t want to damage those.”
Ronnie has the most perfect set of teeth you’ve ever seen, and not a single millimetre of that dental real estate is down to cosmetic manipulation.They’re all natural.
“Got the jitters over your speech?”
