Probably nothing. An unconscious move? Or did he know how he grabbed me? Did he mean it? And more to the point, did I know I was leaning on him in that way?
No, I’m overthinking this. It’s probably nothing and he’s already forgotten it. Whatever it was. It’s just that, it felt…I don’t know what it felt, I’m a bit confused.
Normally, when I feel confused, it’s best to keep Mum out of my head. Unfortunately, that’s impossible if she calls, and she chooses that same moment to ring me.
Chapter Sixteen
“Watch yourself, Leonie,” she tells me in her most caring we’re-not-mother-and-daughter-we’re-best-friends voice. “Don’t be stupid.”
“I’m not being stupid.”
“Yes, but you have a habit of giving men the wrong signals. And this Welsh Hagrid doesn’t sound—”
“There’s nothing wrong with him.” Stung by her implied criticism, I’m quick to defend Raff. “He’s kind and a good man.”
She draws in a loud breath, her usual move when she’s reaching for patience. “Leonie, is he or is he not the handyman at this care home?”
“Yes, but—”
“Does he live in the big city or a small village in the middle of nowhere?”
“Yes, but we don’t know what else—”
Again, she doesn’t give me a chance to qualify my answer. “Is he a good-looking, fashionable man of the world?”
“I don’t know. It’s hard to tell under the hair.”
“Leonie!” Mum insists in a stern voice. “Is he the kind of man who normally goes out with gorgeous girls like you?”
“I really hate it when you call me that. I’m not a magazine cover.”
“Listen to me, sweetheart. This poor man doesn’t get to meet girls like you. Don’t play with him when you aren’t interested. And you aren’t, are you?”
“No,” I agree in a small voice.
“You’re only there for another week then you’ll be off on your panto, touring the south of England. And after that, you have to find a place to live in London and start prep for the History channel series. You also need to push that agent of yours to get you more auditions because you’ll need the work. God only knows what rent you’ll have to pay on the open market. If only your flatmate didn’t have to give up her housing association flat. Honestly, people wait years to get on a Peabody list, you could have looked after it for her.”
“Emma didn’t give it up. She swapped for a flat in Sheffield. She’s getting married.”
“Yes, but she could have moved in with her fiancé. Doesn’t he have a house or is he also looking to benefit from her special needs housing?”
Typical Mum.
“Anyway, you're going to need to focus, Leonie. Your career is important to you isn’t it? You keep telling us you don’t want to be a housewife, right?”
“Yes.”
“Then you need to find success, real success before it’s too late. There are pretty girls graduating from drama schools every year. And when you land a good role in a Hollywood film, then you can think about dating. Is it fair to lead this poor man on when he has no place in your life?”
I say nothing. What could I say? She’s right.
“When you date, it needs to be the right kind of man. Someone who has a future. A career. Connections.” She doesn’t say anything about this fantasy man being good looking because she doesn’t want to trigger the rebel inside me, but we both know what she means. And we both know that all my previous boyfriends look like they stepped off the pages ofGQ. It’s the world I live in. How she’s brought me up.
“Leonie, sweetheart, please be sensible. I know your head is full of socialist ideals, but we live in the real world. I’m glad you met this grandfather and I’m glad you met Will. Now do you believe me that he didn’t want to be a father?
“Yes.”
“See? I know men. And this Hagrid fellow…”
