He leans over the cot, lifts the cover and very tenderly scoops her with both hands. She’s so small when he covers her carefully in the baby blanket and brings her to my bed. Sitting beside me, he keeps his arm under her, and wraps the other arm around me to support me.
“Just for a minute,” he says. “Then we have to put her back.”
She is even smaller than I realised. Like a roll of cottonwool. When I stroke her cheek, it makes me gasp, her skin is so soft, it feels like touching a cloud.
“She is so beautiful.” I can’t help the tears. Her little hand is perfect, five little fingers in a tight fist. “I love her so much.”
“Yes,” he says, stroking a finger over her thumb. Instantly she relaxes her fist and when he rubs the inside of her palm, she closes her hand on his finger. “Oh,” he says in a surprised whisper.
After a moment, he disengages from me gently and takes her back to her cot. “She already looks bigger than when I saw her this morning.” He closes the lid and stands there watching her. “She will be ready to take home very soon.”
“Home?”
He raises his eyebrows in a question.
“Can I bring her to the house…” It’s his house, after all.
“Of course. Where else?”
“Brand.” I try again. Because this is important, and I can’t take chances with my little baby’s life. “I know you didn’t sign on for this. Our agreement–”
“Shh.” He comes back to sit beside me. “It’s your home for as long as you want it,” he says with rock solid determination. “Don’t you dare doubt that.”
“Thank you. Hopefully not too long–”
Again, he stops me talking. “A hundred years if you need it. We have a third bedroom which we can easily make into a nursery.” He gives me such a warm smile that a tiny joy blossoms inside me like a flower unfurling.
“Thank you, Brand. You have no idea how happy you just made me.”
He gazes at me, the long dark lashes making his grey eyes seem smoky and smouldering. Then he says, “I like you calling me Brand. Liam was the only one who ever shortened my name.”
We sit like this, his hand on mine, and the two of us watch the most beautiful little baby in the world. Her eyes closed in sleep, long lashes, and rounded lips that pucker every few minutes as if she’s dreaming about eating. And all the time, that small joy continues to grow inside me. I have never felt true happiness until now.
A nurse comes to take my blood pressure and temperature and change the drip bag. “Can you express your milk? We need to do this to keep your flow.”
Brandon gets up. “I’ll see about getting you a cup of tea?”
When we’re almost finished, she helps me change into a clean hospital gown and offers me a comb for my hair. While waiting for Brandon to come back, I reach to the bedside cabinet for my phone. As soon as I turn it on, a long string of missed calls notifications beep-beep. All from unknown numbers. I scroll down not opening them until I find one from Viv.
LEWIS CARROLL: My father just called to say the pilot and assistant are waiting for you at Jersey airport, but they can’t find you and your phone isn’t answering. Are you okay?
It’s Friday.
Switzerland.
One glance at my little baby and the word ‘No’ blossoms inside me.
I reply to Viv.
ME: I’m in hospital after a little accident. I’m fine but won’t make it to Jersey. Will message you when I’m better.
Then I switch off my phone and put it away in the drawer.
A little later, Brandon comes back with another nurse carrying a tray with tea and some toast.
“They’ll bring lunch in an hour but since you didn’t eat your breakfast, you should have a snack now.” Brandon goes to check on the baby in her cot.
The nurse asks if we have a name yet. Brandon looks up meeting my eyes.
