Something goes smash bang wallop outside, making us both jump.
What was that?” Her eyes widen.
“Probably a tree branch blown down the lane and colliding into other trees.” Then I notice her face. “I can go out and check if you like.”
“No, no. You don’t want debris hitting you.” She pauses as the wind whistles down the chimney. “God, it doesn’t half blow on the island.”
“If you listen, you can hear the waves crashing against the cliff.”
“Brrr.” She shivers.
“Don’t worry, we’re a long way up the hill, besides, I already secured all the shutters.”
“My knight in shining armour.” She gives me the softest, warmest smile, and her eyes linger on me.
Before I know what I’m doing, my fingers are in her hair. Not too deep, but it’s definitely a caress. I have to quickly pretend I’m tucking a curl behind her ear. Not sure it fools her. It wouldn’t fool a blind robot. “Sorry.” I take my hand away from her. “Old habits die hard.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she says very quietly looking at me with those crystal-clear blue eyes. She doesn’t look away for ages, and my heart thumps hard inside my chest.
With an effort, I tear my gaze away. “I’m not going to sleep with you.”
Then I cringe. I’ve said many stupid, tactless things in my life, but this clumsy sentence elevates me to neanderthal level.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I manage to dig myself in deeper. “I mean...”
“It really is okay.” She lays a gentle hand on my arm. She has to lean sideways to reach and her hair falls over her shoulder, a cascade of maple-coloured curls.
“The thing is…” I blow out a long breath and decide the only way out is through. “I am very attracted to you; I was from that first night I met you.” There. The genie is out of the bottle.
“Brandon,” she says very gently. “I know.”
Fuck.
It was hard enough when it was unspoken. And I had to choose this evening, sitting on cushions on the floor in the warm kitchen with the cold wind outside. If there is a worse, more tricky time, then I’d like to know it.
“The thing is, I have promised myself to be celibate for a whole year. And I thought…” I clear my throat, hoping to clear my head. “I thought you wouldn’t be interested because you’re in love with another man.”
“I am not.”
My mouth goes dry.
“I mean, I’m not interested in you in that way.” She clarifies in her quiet voice. “Again, not because you’re not attractive, but I’m not free.”
I can only hear the whoosh of blood flowing back into my brain.
“Then, you don’t want to sleep with me?” I ask to make sure I’ve understood because frankly, this is miles out of my comfort zone.
“No, I don’t. Sorry.”
I can see Liam smiling in my head and wish, with all my heart, I could speak to him right now.
“Then we can be friends?”
She replies with a nod.
I exhale in heartfelt relief “Thank you, thank you, thank you, God.”
She laughs. A big laugh, leaning back against the AGA. “Aren’t you quick with the consolation prize?”
