That’s it. No doubts, no hesitation.
When I made my decision to move back to London, I agonised forweeks, sleepless night after sleepless night, weighing up the options and consequences. But my move back to La Canette is as natural as taking my next breath. From the moment we turned off the M3, everything fell into place as if by magic. We get to the port in time to catch the last ferry for Saint Malo, stopping at La Canette.
The sea is as calm as glass, no seasickness at all. The passengers are friendly and one of them helps me with the two small suitcases as we disembark at 7pm.
No waiting outside the ferry terminal in the cold and dark, not this time.
The Harbourmaster recognises me and calls Du Montfort Hall. Within fifteen minutes, the carriage turns up to take me to Blue Catch.
Home.
Brandon said it could be my home if I wanted it, didn’t he? And it is home. The moment I walk in, the faint smell of oranges welcomes us like a hug.
???
“It’s not the same.” I say when Brandon comes into the kitchen and finds me reading his wish.
I can’t help crying because it all suddenly seems so, so obvious.
“What?” He walks towards me very carefully as if scared to wake up and find it was all a dream.
“It’s not the same, loving you.” I try to explain. “When I came here it was October, I loved Clive, but my need for him faded gradually. By December, I only thought of him when something happened to remind me.
Loving you... It’s been five months, and I still miss you every single day, several times a day. It never faded, the pain, the longing, the need to tell you things .It hurt as much yesterday as it did when you hugged me goodbye in t Southampton.”
He finally shakes himself and seems to believe his eyes. Then he’s at my side, curling an arm around me, wiping my tears with his thumb. “My fault. I should have told you before you left, I should have said I was in love with you.” His voice is thick with emotion.
“Me too. I was always in love with you and only knew it the night I fell on the stairs and found myself calling your name.” It feels so good to be able to say this.
Very tenderly he takes Malinara from me. “Hello, little pomegranate.” He presses his lips to her head, takes a long, slow sniff of her hair, and his eyes close. We stand like that, the three of us for I don’t know how long until there’s a ding from Brandon’s phone.
Almost at the same time, the doorbell rings.
He raises his eyebrows in a question. “Are you expecting anyone to follow you?”
“No.” I slide out of his arms and go to check the door.
Evans, the carriage driver is here again. He dropped me off less than fifteen minutes ago.
“Sorry to disturb. They sent this from the Hall.” He carries in a huge hamper and puts it on the console in the entrance. “Happy New Year.” And he climbs back onto his cart and flicks the reins, moving off down the lane.
I carry the hamper back to the kitchen.
“Let me guess.” Brandon grins widely. “Food.”
I place it on the table and open the lid, then stare.
“What did they send us?” He comes over, still carrying Malinara close to his chest, her head nestled under his chin.
I rummage among the packages. “Tea, coffee, milk, baby food, biscuits, cheese puffs, fruit pies, paté, champagne, cakes and, oh look, sausage rolls, still warm. What is this?”
He hands me his phone to read the message.
MILLIE: You might prefer to see in the New Year with your own family.
Brandon is smiling, but there’s a wet shine in his eyes.
“Is this us? Are we a family?” I feel lightheaded.
