“So, where are you working now?”
“Just taking a short holiday.”
“Well, pack your bags and come to Amsterdam. TheConcertgebouwhave a three month world tour starting soon and” – her voice lilts up with excitement – “your name was mentioned.”
My back straightens. My shoulders move back. The Royal Concertgebouw is one of the top orchestras in the world. Only a fool would let such an opportunity go.A world tour!The publicity alone would make my reputation.
“I was…well,” My eyes land on Liam’s letter still open where I left it. “I was going to take some time out, you know…”
“What are you talking about? Take time off right in the middle of your career, just when things are gathering momentum.” Janey sounds incredulous. “If you drop out of sight now, you’ll have to start from scratch.”
“You may be right.”
If I go now, I could come back in April and fulfil my brother’s request. The thought is seductive.The Concertgebouw, for God’s sake!
“Of course, I’m right. I don’t need to tell you if the Concertgebouwneed someone to fill in on their tour, it’s because they have a real vacancy. It means when the tour is finished in April, they’ll be auditioning for a permanent position, and you would be in an excellent position to get it. This could mean everything.”
Except that if I got the permanent position, I’d not be coming back at all.
“Come on,” Janey urges. “I have a flat in Amsterdam, you can stay with me.” Her voice takes on that slow husky note, like the sound of a cello. It makes me imagine her, both of us, in bed and my body begins to respond.
Ding, Dong.The doorbell again.
“Hold on.” I tell her and go to answer the door.
A teenage boy holds a basket with something wrapped in grease-proof paper.
“Janey,” I speak into the phone. “Someone’s at the door. I’ll call you later.”
“Promise?” she breathes.
“Of course.” I whisper because I know what my whisper will do to her. What it’s already doing to me.
“Hello?” I switch to a normal voice, shoving the phone back into my pocket.
“Apple Tree Dairy.” The boy replies. “My mum said you might like some cheese.”
I thank him even though I don’t really want cheese, any more than I wanted pork sausages. Or the jars of marmalade and chutney that came next. Or the basket of apples and grapes that followed a few minutes later.
All I want is to be left alone so I can think.
Ding, Dong.A selection of vegetables this time.
The entire mercantile community on this island seems to have loved my brother and probably fed him too. If they are about to transfer their love to me, I’m not sure I can last a week here, never mind a year. If I’d been the kind of man who liked people taking care of me, I’d have got married long ago.
The march of food supplies shows no sign of ending, so, I go into the kitchen and tell Mrs B that I’m going upstairs. Hopefully she’ll phone or send out smoke signals or whatever communication method the island favours and stop them showing up at my doorstep with more food.
I’m a thirty-three year old single man, not a clan of starving outlanders.
Then I take the letter and climb the wooden stairs, dreading the task ahead.
Going through my brother’s things and packing away a life cut short too soon is going to be hard.
Except that…
Everything is clean and tidy. The cottage has three bedrooms, all with empty wardrobes; the beds stripped, and floors scrubbed and waxed. In the last room, I find one suitcase beside the bed. A yellow sticky note on the side says, “Mr Liam’s clothes etc.” Two small cardboard boxes are similarly labelled BOOKS and PHYSIO EQUIPMENT.
My jaw tightens with irritation. What right had anyone to touch Liam’s personal things?
