“I think he might be very sick.”
His expression much more than his words made her suddenly forget everything else. “Verysick?”
“I think he might be…” He paused then went on in a different tone. “When Mark, my sister’s first husband was sick, he used to have headaches. His eyesight was getting worse, and he’d get these black spots.” Gabriel waved a hand in front of his eyes.
His brother-in-law, she remembered the story, had died of a brain tumour.
“But Lord M doesn’t have headaches or eye trouble.”
Gabriel shook his head. “It’s not that. It’s the refusal to see a doctor. That look on his face. Eve kept asking Mark to go see a doctor, but he refused. I think he suspected in his heart that it might be something serious and was afraid to find out. So, he got angry and shouted whenever Eve asked him to see a doctor. So aggressively angry that we all stopped mentioning it.”
“Do you see?” Gabriel’s worried expression echoed the growing dread in her heart. “Yesterday when he was shouting at us, I saw the same look in his eyes. Fear.”
She stared at him. Half of her understood what he’d just said. The other half, the stronger half, hoped it was a mistake, a misunderstanding, a bad joke. Any minute now, he’d smile, apologise, rephrase. But this half was diminishing as conviction drained out of it. Tears spilled from her eyes and her knees sagged. Gabriel caught her and helped her to a nearby sofa and held her against his chest.
She had to move away.
If Gabriel was right, then Lord M’s request for her to stay away was very likely the last thing he would ever ask of her. She pushed herself up to her feet, putting the wicker sofa between them.
“I’ve been so busy” — She swiped at her wet cheeks — “thinking about myself when he might not be with us much longer.”
Gabriel stood up too; he was still on the other side of the sofa, but he felt so near, understanding, sharing her fears.
“It’s not selfish to go about your life normally. How could you have known?”
“He can’t be dying; he can’t. He is…” Her voice wavered and she breathed through the tightness in her throat. “You don’t know him, everyone thinks he’s grumpy but he’s…”like a father, a favourite uncle, a friend, a teacher. “He’s the dearest person in my life. He can’t d…” Her voice completely failed on the last word.
“I didn’t say he was going to die.” Gabriel’s voice had gone very soft, like an embrace. “I only meant thathe’safraid he might be. That’s all.”
Finally, a small hope.
All around her, glass walls and French windows showed the sun shining on green lawns and pretty daisies, yellow daffodils, and white crocuses. Gradually, her spirits came back. “We have to do something.”
“No, you mustn’t.” Gabriel shook his head, but his tone was kind. “He will feel more frightened if you start treating him like a sick man.”
“I can’t just watch him suffer.”
“It might not be anything fatal; that’s why Adam wants tests. He believes it’s something treatable.”
It was a slender hope, a straw to a drowning girl. She clutched it and tried to build a case from it. “He’s often in pain from his shoulder and back because of the partial paralysis. He’s not a young man. He can be quite frail at times. We forget because he’s usually so strong, but it’s all pride and determination. He won’t let anyone see him as weak.”
“I can tell he’s a very proud man.”
Gabriel’s half smile told her there was also another possibility.
“And if he is really dying…?” Her tears were back, falling and falling.
She didn’t know when he’d moved, but Gabriel was beside her, holding her face in his hands. “If he is, then you make his final weeks or months as happy as you can.” He wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. “Give him what he asked you. Put together the best article you can. Have it printed in a beautiful booklet. Make it a collector’s edition.”
He dropped his hands to hold her by the shoulders. “I’ll help you. Consider me your assistant.”
It would be wonderful to work together on this. If only it didn’t mean breaking her promise to Lord M, the last thing he asked of her. She dragged in a breath and stepped back from Gabriel.
“Maybe.”
“Listen.” Gabriel’s attention was no longer on her; his eyes went to the window. “Can you hear that?”
An instant later, she heard it too, a distant buzz that grew louder and louder until it was unmistakably a helicopter.
