Hard work made it easier to pretend she was all right. But behind the hard work, nothing was easier; everywhere she went, Gabriel was there.
The pub where he had told her about pigeons learning to fly, the cheese shop, Hedge’s honey shop, the girls’ bicycles. Every landmark now held a reminder of something they had done together.
How had he stolen the island from her? She’d lived here for two years; this washerfabulous place to live. When did it become his?
She started taking Liam with her when he was free. She listened to him talk about the house he hoped to get. The bylaws here didn’t allow new building. Both Lord M and George were adamant they wouldn’t let the land be spoilt. So, Liam had applied and was offered a three-bedroom cottage that had been empty for years.
They were having lunch by the fountain in the village. The same fountain where Gabriel had waited for her the day Nicole had shouted at Doris.
The memory was too vivid, and her attention on Liam was thin at best, but she tried. “What do you want a three-bedroom house for? Are you getting married soon?”
“I believe one has to create the space for happiness.”
“If you build it, they will come?” she asked.
“That sort of thing.” He leaned back, resting against the stone.
“Do you think I should have written to him?” she asked, suddenly unable to avoid the subject anymore.
Liam didn’t look surprised, as if he had always known three-quarters of her mind was busy with Gabriel. “And say what?”
“I don’t know. Anything. That I miss him. That I love him.”
“You don’t think he knows?” Liam asked. “Emmet – or Gabriel – whichever is his real name—”
“Gabriel. Emmet is his middle name and Nicole wanted it because she thought Americans would find it more romantic or something.”
He snorted at the memory of Nicole and her excessive planning. “Either way, believe me, a man can tell when a girl likes him. Gabriel knew how you felt about him; that wasn’t what stopped him.”
She dropped her head into her hands.
“I let him go, Liam. I didn’t even try to fight for him.”
“You are not supposed to fight for him. It’s his job to fight for you.”
The words were like a knife stabbing deep into her. “There’s something you don’t know.” She may as well confess, and Liam was the only one she could confide in. “He kept trying to talk to me, to discuss what was happening between us, and I didn’t let him. He chased me for days. It was me who pushed him away.”Right into Nicole’s arms. The stabbing knife twisted cruelly inside her.
“Give the man some credit; he never struck me as a pushover.”
“He went away with her, didn’t he?” She would never be able to erase the image of Nicole crying with her head on his chest, his arms around her.
“I think he – like you – is a peace-maker. Nicole was unravelling and he felt responsible for her; that’s why he was always apologising for her actions. He’d have done it regardless of his feelings. But,” Liam paused, thinking.
“What?” She glanced at him.
“Well…” Liam started, choosing his words carefully. “I had the impression he was holding himself back, not showing anything. You know the saying,Still waters run deep.”
She picked up a loose pebble from the ground and tossed it into the fountain.
“He’s all easy on the surface but I think deep, maybe very deep inside, he was fighting a battle all the time. If I had to hazard a guess” — Liam met her eyes with his serious ones — “I’d say Gabriel isn’t a man to act in haste. Maybe it wasn’t the right time and place to show his feelings.”
She sighed. “Well, now we’ll never know.”
Liam brushed his hands and stuffed his empty sandwich wrapper in the bin nearby. “Be patient, Pierre. Time eventually answers all questions.”
“Time?” She felt like laughing. Or crying. “How much time does it take to get over someone? It’s been four weeks. Don’t they say it takes half the time you had together?”
They’d had no time together at all, and even if she counted every day he was here that was barely six weeks. “Shouldn’t I be over him by now? Or at least shouldn’t the pain be fading, even a little?” A month after he left, and she still couldn’t make herself go into her office. Of all the places on the entire island, that was the most painful because it held the memory of their embrace, their almost-kiss. Even now, thinking about it made her shiver.
