“It’s my gran’s favourite word, she used it as a slur against me. I’m now going to own it and make it into a good word, a great word. I’ll embrace my inner spinster and make a success of the rest of my life.”
“Laura,” Joanie’s voice was full of affection. “Don’t throw the baby with the washing water. You deserve a gorgeous sexy man with lots ofvavavoom.”
“Well, no one with vavavoom wanted to marry me. Not even a man with a va.”
Joanie shook her head in mock exasperation; her long corkscrew curls came loose from their knot. “You are beautiful inside and out. Any man would be lucky to have you.” She busied herself twisting her curls back up and securing them with a blue and gold chopstick. “Besides,” Again, Joanie paused to find the right word in English. “If you want psychic vision, I can give it to you for free without any tarot.” She waved her hand over the table to show the lack of cards.
“Go on.” Laura smiled.
“You were so determined on Jacob. I think you lowered your expectations too much. If you shop in the discount aisle in the supermarket, you only find the bad vegetables.” She smiled kindly taking the sting out of her words. “I don’t know why you make yourself small.You”—Joanie pointed a finger at Laura—“are talented, feisty, spirited, full of personality like a shiny green beautiful jalapeño.” Joanie, kissed the tips of her fingers to indicate something yummy. “That’s what Jacob fell in love with, but as soon as he put the ring on your finger, you started behaving like an out-of-date salad bag, grateful he picked you at all.”
“Joanie, are all your analogies food related?”
“I’m a chef, and don’t avoid the subject.”
“I’m not avoiding anything. You’re right, I’ve been a fool. I put my career on the back burner, for a man.Again. But I'm going to get my job back, and I’ll show them at Gloria’s Gowns just what I can do when I really put my mind to it."
A group of four women stopped in front of the bistro, checked the menu and decided to go in. Joanie flashed her an apologetic smile. “I’d better go in for a minute, I’m training new staff and they....” she mumbled something in French.
Laura waved her away. “Go, go. I’ve got a phone call to make anyway.” She fished her phone out as Joanie hurried inside. No one worked harder than Joanie but she always made it look easy. She was no older than Laura yet her café had become famous in the ultra-fashionableLanesand Brighton’s glitterati were falling over each other trying to recommend the unique fusion of French–British–North African cuisine.
One day, Laura too would become a talking point and people would say,Oh you must go to Gloria’s Gowns and ask for Laura Ford. VIP brides would come in for a consultation and Gloria would say,I’m going to give you Laura, my best designer.
The phone rang and rang but no one answered; Laura huffed and tried Gloria’s private number. When she was back at her job, she would suggest finding a new receptionist who actually stayed at her desk and answered the phone. The fashion industry was full of eager wannabes who pretended to work admin jobs only to get a foot into the design room door, even if to only pick up loose threads off the floor. Laura herself had spent a whole year sewing on buttons and colour matching swatches. Even now, she mostly made what others designed.
“Hello, you!” Gloria sounded relaxed, happy. “Miss us already?”
Laura explained in as few words as possible the change in plans keeping emotions out of her voice. Her boss was shocked then sympathetic, then finished with the usual “what will be will be, onwards and upwards, eh?” Which gave Laura the opening to move on to the job. She could come back any time.
At which point Gloria’s voice became hesitant. “Oh.”
“I just need to find a new place to live, but I can come to work tomorrow morning and flat-hunt in the afternoon.”
“But, darling, this is a very difficult time for you. Shouldn’t you take a few weeks to reassess and think about your next step?”
“Actually, no, I’ve done nothing but think this weekend. I just want to come back to work and forget.” She needed to do much more than forget. Saving money for example, because at thirty years old, after ten years of working, she had two hundred and fifty pounds in the bank to show for it. The low price she’d got for her home barely covered the mortgage. It hadn’t seemed to matter when Jacob had a perfectly good house in Sweden waiting for them. Now, the stupid decisions would have to be paid for. All of her bad decisions including her ridiculous need to be married.
Getting out of the man business now would give her time to work like a demon, keep her focus on her career and get that long overdue promotion. As senior designer, she would finally have the freedom to create what she wanted rather than be hemmed in by someone else’s ideas.
“The thing is, darling.” An awkward note came into Gloria’s voice. “We already filled your position. What a shame. But, I mean, how was anyone to know this would happen?”
“You have someone else already?” Two nights ago, at her goodbye party, Gloria had complained drunkenly about not finding anyone suitable.
“Oh yes, all signed and everything.”
Her mind struggled to understand.
“I see.”
“If I hear of anything, I’ll let you know.” The silence stretched. “Of course, I will.” Gloria added with forced sincereity.
“Of course.” Laura couldn’t keep the suspicion out of her voice.
Gloria obviously heard it. “Look, Laura, you’re a wonderful, really talented young woman but I think you’ve outgrown my studio. Things happen for a reason, and it’s time for you to spread your wings. You don’t want to come back here, to worry about not stepping on toes or ruffling feathers, hmm?”
Laura hated it when people did that ‘hmm?’ It was like talking to a child. ‘You don’t want to spill your juice. Hmm?’ ‘Be a good little girl, hmm?’ So, her tone was a little sharper than usual when she replied. “I wasn’t aware I ruffled any feathers. And whose toes did I step on?” She had spent a lifetime making sure she didn’t upset anyone. How many times had she bitten her lip bloody and kept quiet?
Gloria was silent for a moment. When she spoke, her tone had lost its faux sweetness. “Laura what do you think would happen if a lion tried to play with a cat? How would that work out?” Gloria paused and her Zippo cigarette lighter clicked followed by a long exhale. “You are a lion trying to be a cat, and everyone can feel you holding back from telling them how to do things better. It causes secret resentment.”
