She finally came into the café, wearing ordinary jeans and a baggy top. She looked sexy even in that.
“I made a fresh pot of tea.” He held a chair for her.
She walked towards him slowly, deliberately, as if unsure. “Okay, a quick one. I’ll need to get the place ready. Café opens in a coupleof hours.”
“Take theday off.”
“On Easter Sunday?” Her eyebrows lifted. “In my business, we live for weekends like this.”
Well, he could at least help her now. She could have all his money. Christ, she could have all of him.
Just as well they were dressed and sitting with a table between them. He needed to say everything without sexual distraction. Withouttoo much sexualdistraction, he amended, as his eyes took in her wet hair curling againsther neck.
She poured tea for both of them, added milk, then took her mug in both hands and stared into it.
“Millie, my love,” he began and was gratified to see her face colour, “I made a mistake in the past, keeping my thoughts to myself. I had plans, you see, to whisk you away to London. Everything was planned: the jewellery I’d give you for Christmas, on Valentine’s—that’s when I planned to propose. What a fool I was.” He wanted to reach over and take her hand, but both her hands were wrapped firmly around her mug.
“I wanted to present you with all my decisions like a—like some sort of gift. I don’t want to make the same mistake now. I want you to share my thinking from the off. This thing between us, it’s not mine alone to build.You are—”
“George, you don’t need—”
“Shh.” He touched her arm gently. “Let me get this out, please.”
Millie drank some tea and kept her arms up, holding the mug againsther chin.
“I thought, before, you were good enough for me, but I was wrong, Millie. You are far better. I used to have all the answers, and I failed. Butyouare the answer. I want you to be… you are my future.” He stopped because although she hadn’t interrupted, she didn’t even look him in the eye to distract him. Something else made it hard to speak. He gulped some of his tea, scalding his mouth. The burning jolt seemed to clear his head. He ploughed on.
“I didn’t come prepared yesterday. So I don’t want you to say anything yet.” He took a deep breath. “I will come back in a few days, I will get down on one knee, and you can answerme then.”
That was it. He’d said everything he’d wanted to say. Why did it feelso heavy?
Millie put her mug on the table. “It’s all right. I can give you my answer now.”
“No, Millie, don’t. Let’s do this right. Let me come back with a ring.”
“You want my answer to be about you or about a piece of jewellery?” Her eyes were loving but serious. “Can I please give you my answer now?”
“Okay.” His heart fluttered, and his pulse banged in his temples. He’d heard that proposing was scary, but he shouldn’t bethisanxious.
Millie took in a long breath. “There are probably a million charming ways to say this, but I can’t find them.” Her eyes swept the room as if looking for something. “I’m sorry, George, more than you know, butI can’t.”
The anxiety in his heart spread all over and prickled under his skin.I fucked this up again with the wrong words. He reached over and took her hand in both of his. “Millie, you don’t understand—”
“Yes, I do,” she said,very calm.
“I am asking you to marry me.” He persisted, speaking words almost on autopilot, refusing to let himself hear what she really said. “I am giving you everything, my life, my future every—”
“I know. And it’s a wonderful offer. But I have to say no.”
He searched her face for a clue. “Is it about what happened before?”
“A little.”
Cold spread between his shoulder blades. “You said you’d forgiven me.”
“It has nothing to do with forgiveness.”
“Then what has it to do with? Tell me because I don’t understand.”
