“Lee…” his voice came out, a tinge of warning to it. I looked over at him, surprised by the strength in his grip. Bishop had always been the smallest of us, physically, but that just meant he worked twice as hard as the rest of us to be number one - in or out of the dojo.
“He’s a grown man. He can make his own decisions,” he said. His gray eyes were dark and serious, a contrast to his tanned skin tone.
“I know, Bishop. I just can’t let him—”
“What? Sleep with the person he’s been in love with for ten years?” he asked, his lips thinning as he looked at me in disapproval.
“I need to warn him—”
“No, you don’t,” Bishop cut me off. “This is between him and Nicki. The rest of us don’t get a say,” he continued.
“But—”
“No ‘buts’,” Bishop continued, his eyes flashing. “Kaine is a grown ass man. He is an informed adult and he can make adult decisions without everyone else in the family weighing in on them.”
Bishop released my hand, but I let the phone remain on the table where it had started.
“But is he?” I asked. “Informed, I mean?”
Bishop’s gaze held mine for a moment, the unspoken question heavy between us, but then he nodded.
“He is.”
I sighed and looked down at the table. I didn’t know if I could ever stand to have kids. It was hard enough letting my younger siblings grow up.
“Okay,” I said, taking another sip of my soda. “That’s that, then.”
“So?” He asked, as I used a paper towel to wipe a last smear of sugary goodness from my mouth. “What happened?”
“Who said something had to have happened?” I demandeddefensively. Suddenly the pastry and soda combination didn’t feel like it was sitting so well in my stomach.
“Well, you and Mason have been joined at the hip ever since he got here,” he said. “Then you show up at the ‘rents, on a weekday, I might add, and look like someone just hit your favorite puppy. So. What. Happened?” He asked, punctuating his words with silence.
I sighed. Bishop was the quiet observer in the family, not that I’d been exactly subtle about how I felt about Mason. He always knew when someone was bullshitting.
So, I told him, at least the parts that were mine to tell. His eyes got a little bigger when I told him about my trip to Milwaukee and shooting Ricky.
“I remember that week,” he said, drinking the last of his coffee. “I remember you being gone for, like, ever. The moms were really worried about you, but they were trying to hide it,” he said, grinning at me. “Unsuccessfully. When you showed back up, you were—different.” He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Lighter, somehow. Better. It was the first time since Mack died that I started to see the old Lee again.”
I sighed.
“Well, who knew? All it took was a little murder to get him back,” I said, digging my fingers into my head, trying to get rid of the headache that was starting.
“It wasn’t murder, Lee,” Bishop insisted, his voice brooking no argument. “And you know it. You were saving that boy. That’s what you do, defend the helpless, protect the innocent, just like you always swore to do. Like you always did for me.”
I looked up at him and shook my head, even if he wouldn’t acknowledge it, I knew it was different.
“It wasn’t the same, Bish. There was no ‘brotherly’ love involved,” I said wryly. “Just lust. I went there to use him, just like all the other men had.”
“But you didn’t. You thought he was a consenting adult. When you found out differently, you could have walked away,” he said implacably. “You could have stayed out of it. Pretended not to see. You could have left him there. Then what would have happened?”
“Fuckthat! You know I couldn’t have, Bishop! They would havekilledhim!” I said, my voice getting louder as anger starting to replace my guilt. How could he not understand?
“God, I’ll never forget the smell of his burned skin…” I shuddered. “I lived through Afghanistan, but it wasn’t until I came back here that I found something that made me physically ill to think about.”
“So, again,” he continued, “You could have walked away, right? You called the police. They would have saved him, right?” he demanded.
“I couldn’t leave him,” I whispered. “I promised him I would save him. I had to.”
