“I shrugged it off, too impatient to try it out to wait for something else to arrive, so I figured I’d give it a try. I knew enough about sex to know that I would need a lot of lube at this point, of course, so I lubed that sucker up and went to town,” he grinned at me. “It was kind of slippery, and the shape wasn’t at all what I'd expected. It was awkward and difficult, I had a hard time getting a grip on it, and it was really hard getting it in, but I figured the sex toy people had to know what they were doing, so I shrugged it off and just started playing.It still felt good, so I kept it up. I heard my parents call the kids to dinner, but I was so close, there was no way I could have left that bathroom just then. So, there I was, going at it for all I was worth, imagining getting fucked by Tom Hiddleston or something, when one of my brothers comes pounding on the door to the bathroom to tell me dinner was ready. Scared the shit out of me and I jumped, and… lost my grip,” he laughed. “…and pretty much the whole toy, too.”
“Oh, my gods, you didn’t?” I asked, my hand flying up to cover my mouth, which had popped into an O of shock.
“I did. It popped right in and I couldnotget that fucker out.” Lee was chuckling so hard at this point, I could barely understand what he was saying, and he took a few deep breaths before continuing. “I panicked for a few minutes, but then figured, hey, what goes in has to come out, right?” he asked, wiping tears from the corners of his eyes.
“I figured I would go downstairs, eat dinner and just, you know, let nature take its course.” He was stuck trying to catch his breath to finish the story, but he was laughing so hard, I didn’t know if he was going to make it. “Mama K and Mama D had made dinner, but had announced to the clan they were going to go ‘take a nap’ while we kids ate. Which, of course, was code for ‘go have sex’. In a house full of kids, you can imagine they didn’t get a lot of privacy.
“So, there I am, eating spaghetti and meatballs with my brothers and sister when I felt something shoot through me like lightning. I jumped to my feet so fast I knocked a plate of spaghetti on the floor and was just frozen in shock as something inside me began… vibrating.
“Oh no…” I said, the urge to laugh and cry for teenaged Lee was overwhelming.
“Oh yes… And that’s about what I was saying, too,” he laughed. “Yes! Yes!Yes!” Lee howled in mock pleasure on the bed across from me. “I was worse than Meg Ryan in ‘Sleepless in Seattle’. Turns out… Mama K had a remote control vibrator they used and the remote portion had given out. They’d ordered a replacement remote for it, but turns out, it came with a whole new vibrator. The rest of the remote was still in the box I’d discarded. They’d found it and decided to see if it still worked with the old one…”
We were both laughing so hard at this point that I could barely breathe, let alone talk.
“Oh my god,” I moaned.
“Exactly. So there I was, trying to get the younger kids to eat dinner and kept having this vibrator randomly going off in my ass,” Lee wiped his eyes. “I was trying to pretendsohard that nothing was wrong, but I saw the looks on Kaine and Bishop’s faces as the vibrations got stronger, and realized it was strong enough, they could feel the vibration on the bench we shared. Just as I was trying to figure out how to get out of this, Weaver asked me what was making the weird sounds in my pocket…” He had to stop for a minute, the laughter overcoming him.
“I jumped up to head for the bathroom and, wouldn’t you know it? Damn thing nailed my gland. I was seeingstars. As soon as I could catch my breath, I ran. It took me forever and a shit ton of lube, but I ended up getting it out, finally.”
I was laughing so hard I was wheezing. The image of young Lee, trying to get the vibrator out of his ass as it kept going off, was just too funny for words.
“And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why you nevereveruse something in your ass you cannot easily retrieve,” he said.
“The worst part was the next day, when the actual plug arrived, Mama K and Mama D found it in the mail and confronted me over their lost toy. I don’t know if they thought I was just being a bratty teenager, or what, but they called me into their room to ask me if I knew what had happened to their purchase, and I had to fess up,” he finished.
“The worst… the worst part of it…” he was laughing so hard, I could barely understand him. “I tried to give it back!”
“You didn’t!” I exclaimed, joining him in laughter until tears were rolling down both our faces.
“Idid! I mean, I cleaned it and everything, but as I held it out to her, Mama D just gave me this look and said, ‘Keep it’.”
We both howled with laughter.
“So, I hope that helps. Nothing you can say to me could possibly be any worse than that story…” Lee said, pulling himself together.
I grinned at him, the urge to kiss him overwhelming. And I thought to myself, Why fight it? I reached forward and grabbed his neck, pulling him into a deep, hot, wet kiss.
“That has got to be the funniest, hottest, sexiest thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” I said, smiling as our foreheads rested together. “And it helped. Thank you.”
He leaned back, eyes still locked on mine.
“So, want to try again?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I said, merriment still running through my body. “Jodi, my therapist, suggested I try using a plug, just to get used to the feeling,” I still blushed as we talked, but I was nowhere near as hesitant as I was before Lee had shared his story.
“So, I picked something up at this store the other day, and I’ve been trying it, off and on, for the last couple of weeks,” I continued. “I think I’m ready. No,” I stopped as I saw him start to interject at my lack of certainty. “IknowI’m ready. I want this, Lee. I want… you,” I whispered.
Lee looked into my eyes for several long moments, searching for confirmation of my words. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him, because he ended up nodding and reaching for the lube.
“Wait, that’s mine…” I started, but he pulled the bottle up and out of my reach.
“Myjob,” he said, his tone brooking no opposition. “You are trusting me with your body tonight, Mason. You’re trusting me with your pleasure. I’m going to make damn sure you enjoy this,” he growled.
I didn’t know Caveman Lee was such a hottie, but he sure was!
His lips sought mine, then he started slowly working his way down my body.
