“Hmmm… Still don’t like sex, eh Mason?” he said, his eyes narrowing at my lack of response to his touch. It had always infuriated him that I had no response to him.
“Maybe you’d be more interested if we had your Devereaux friend here to play with, too?” He asked, his body crowding against my back, forcing me against the desk again.
“What was his name? Lee?” he asked Conyers, who nodded. Dreyven turned his head back toward me, his arms wrapped around me, the gun in one hand. I was ready to vomit at the stench of him. He smelled like cum, and blood and expensive cologne, all rolled into one.
“He was the one who dropped you off tonight, right?” he whispered in my ear. “Maybe I could arrange a little show for him, hmm? Let him watch while I fucked you? Should I, Mason? Fuck you in front of him? Then fuckhim?” he asked, his voice thick in my ear.
“No!” I cried out, terror-spiked adrenaline hitting my bloodstream, my yell startling all of us. Lee was one of the few genuinely good people I’d ever met in this world. There was no way I was going to let these bastards get their hands on him. Plus, if Dreyveneverfound out Lee was the one who killed Ricky, there would be no saving him. Anger like lava boiled and popped in my veins.
“You leave Lee alone, you son of a bitch,” I growled, letting my head fall forward. Then I straightened quickly and slammed my head backward, in the same move that Mama K had taught me the night before, catching Dreyven squarely on the nose.
The small amount of pain in the back of my head was worth it as Dreyven’s arms dropped free and the gun went tumbling.
“Fuck!” He yelled, grabbing for his nose, blood spurting everywhere. “You stupid fuck! You broke my nose! That’stwo! Two less friends you’ve got, Mason!” Dreyven’s hands pressed against his face in a vain attempt to stem the blood that poured down his face and all over his expensive suit.
I took the momentary reprieve, shoving Dreyven at Conyers withall my might. I opened the office door and did the one thing I was good at. I ran.
I didn’t know where I went or even how long I ran. I’d found an exit out of the building and my feet crunched across gravel. I ran until I felt grass under my feet and tree branches slapped me. The adrenaline in my blood made me fly, but eventually it began to wear off. I heard them chasing me for a while, then finally heard Dreyven’s voice yelling into the darkness.
“Forget it Bill, I’m not running around in the dark all night. He won’t go far,” Dreyven yelled.“Mason! I know you can hear me, boy. Two o’clock in Cleveland, Mason! Don’t be late, or someoneelseon that screen is going to regret knowing you!”
I was huddled behind some bushes and had no real idea where I was, but I could hear Dreyven and Bill talking as they went back inside. A few minutes later I heard them leave.
I hid in the bushes and trees around the building for what felt like forever. I knew that if I waited long enough, Lee would be back. He would come for me. I had to have faith in that, although terror for his safety made me ill. I almost vomited in fear as I sat there when I heard another soft set of footsteps approach.
“Mason?” I heard a whispered call and recognized Tobi’s voice. I tried to respond, to do something, but it seemed as if his voice was coming from a great distance and I was somehow disconnected from my body.
I hardly noticed it when Tobi started talking to me and eventually sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around me to try and warm me up. It seemed like an eternity later when I saw a pair of headlights flash over the now-empty parking lot and I heard the sound of a car drive up. I was shaking at this point, but it didn’t seem to matter.
As Lee got out of the car, a part of me sighed in relief. At least he hadn’t been one of the ones hurt. As much as I wanted to run to him, seek the shelter of his arms and the warmth of his protection, I was frozen in shame and fear. He deserved better than this, better than me. He deserved someone who wasn’t… tainted… like I was.
That knowledge and shame, more than almost anything else thathappened, kept me frozen in the dark, but Lee found us huddled beside the building. I could hear him and Tobi talking, but it was so far away I couldn’t understand what they were saying.
I blinked and somehow found myself sitting inside Lee’s car. I had no idea how I’d gotten there.
Two words ran through my head as I sat there. “Don’t Tell. Don’t Tell. Don’t Tell.” Over and over, because I knew if I told Lee what had happened, I’d get everyone killed and I couldn’t be responsible for that. It was already my fault someone, or two someones, were getting hurt tonight. I couldn’t be responsible for more.
My ass ached and burned like fire, I could feel my lip swelling and throbbing, but I didn’t dare let Lee see the pain I was in. I knew what kind of a guy Lee was. He was a hero. He was the kind of guy who would run into a burning building to save a puppy. If he knew what had happened to me, he would lose his shit then run off and do something stupid, like confront Dreyven and Conyers. I couldn’t let him do that.
Despite the frozen disconnection between my brain and my body, I was frantic to reach my friends. With my phone broken, I didn’t even knowhowI would reach them. Who knew phone numbers, in this day and age? They were all stored on my phone. I could try emailing, but what could I say? Please run, please hide, because two of you are going to be attacked? Or maybe already had been? And it was all my fault.
I couldn’t. So, I’d lied. I let Lee think tonight was “just” another panic attack. Not… not a… I couldn’t even say it to myself. Notrape. Not again, not after all these years of rebuilding myself. Myself.
When we got back to his house, I grabbed my laptop and reached out to my friends before I did anything else, and demanded Lee do the same. I knew I couldn’t tell him or them what was happening, but at least I could put them on guard.
Emails sent, I made a beeline for the shower. I knew, logically, I shouldn’t shower, that I should preserve the evidence, save the bits of the men who had violated me so that they could be brought to justice. But I couldn’t. There was no justice here for me. I didn’t dare go to thelocal police—that would just jeopardize more people. All I could do was prop myself up under the hottest water I could stand, scrubbing my body, digging my nails into my skin, scratching away the cum, blood and the touch of sick, evil men that had soaked into my skin.
When I was done, I saw my clothes on the floor where I’d dropped them as I’d stripped. The underwear and jeans were still wet and stained with blood and other fluids. I knew I couldn’t let Lee see them, but there was no way I was getting them past him, either. I did the only thing I could think of. I balled them all up together and stuck them under the sink behind some bathroom cleansers and a stack of toilet paper. I’d grab them before I left tomorrow.
Because Ihadto leave. I didn’t have a choice. There were no other options here, no escape from the things I’d set in motion.
I could see the questions in Lee’s eyes, hear the worry in his voice as he spoke to me, but he did what I asked, and touched base with all his family. He reassured me everyone was fine, safe. Lizzie, Ev and Zem let me know all was well with them, too. Lee tried to talk to me about what happened, but the only way I could respond was to beg him to let me sleep.
I flinched when he got in bed and slid up behind me and I had to hope that he didn’t notice. Then I smelled it, that same scent that had snuck its way into my living hell so many years ago, the sweet vanilla and amber scent that was uniquely Lee’s. As he wrapped his arms around me and drew me close, I tried desperately to record the feel of his skin against mine, his amazing scent, the warmth of his breath on my neck. I knew I would need these memories to survive the days ahead. After a while, I was finally able to shove the horror of the day into a box deep in my brain and fall into the oblivion of sleep.
Lee’s thrashing woke me a few hours later. My body still ached and sharp pains shot through me as I sat up too quickly, but Lee seemed locked in the nightmare that was riding him. I sat there a moment and tried to figure out what to do. He was moaning and I could see thetracks of tears running down his face as he thrashed. I wondered if tonight’s events had triggered this nightmare, something about my weakness leading him back into hell.
I tried to remember what you were supposed to do with nightmare sufferers. Were you supposed to touch someone who was having a nightmare? Try to wake them? I didn’t think so. but I couldn’t bear to hear the sounds of his moans as he struggled with whatever nightmare he was trapped in.
