“Remember that whole ‘balanced world’ we talked about, sport?” Kitty asked. “If Ri had been saved you would have died, and the world would still have been shot to hell.”
I paced across the road, trying to contain my fury.
“You still should have saved him!” I insisted.
“Saving Ri wouldn’t have changed anything,” Kitty said. “If he had lived instead of you, then the Illyrians would still be overwhelmed, and would cease to exist as a people within five years. The world would have self-destructed not long after.”
The words tore through me. As much as I wanted to argue with her, I knew our people were already threatened.
“And… there would have been no second chance for balance if he had chosen to save himself,” Kare continued. “If you choose to live, there may be another way. We create plans and plans within plans. We weave threads of fate, but sometimes our opponents snip them prematurely.”
“Opponents? Is this some kind of fucking game for you?” I demanded furiously. “Save this one, damn that one?”
“Ri’s not damned, Hel,” Kitty said. “If anything, his sacrifice--it makes him more dear to Us, not less.”
“Why does saving me make any difference?” I demanded. “I’m no one special.”
“Of course you are special,” Kitty said.
“But you can also help save a powerful Mageia,” Kate said. A pair of ice blue eyes, not unlike those of the women in front of me, flashed across my vision, and something in those eyes made me freeze. “And that Mageia can help save your world.”
“So, what? You want to send me back? Without Ri?” I asked.
“That is what we want,” they said in unison, nodding together in an eerie move that made a shiver run down my spine. “But the choice is yours.”
“We are the keepers of the Ways,” Kate said.
“We are the Guardians of the Crossroads,” the old woman said.
“And you will not be just another Soma,” Kitty said. “You will be our Instrument.”
“Your instrument?” I demanded angrily. “I’m no one’s fucking instrument.”
“Your will is your own,” the old woman interrupted testily. “We do not take a person’s free will. The choice is yours.You can stay here and pass to What Comes Next, or you can take the chance to save the world so many of your people have fought and died to protect.”
I didn’t know if I could do it. Without Ri? I would be all alone.
“I promise you, you will not be alone,” Kate said, as if reading my mind. “This other Mageia is more than a match for your power, stronger even than Ri. Ri was supposed to be the backup plan, not Elex.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Backup plan? Who is Elex?”
The blue eyes flashed across my mind’s eye again.
“Every Soma has Mageia they can match with,” Kathryn said. “You’ve learned this at your elders’ knees. Your intended match was Elex, the son of a king, but the Elusians enslaved him and fucked that plan up royally.”
“We weren’t sure if we could ever free him, so we had to accept Ri as an alternative match for you,” Kate said.
“Ri is not an afterthought!” I yelled, my grief tearing a hole in my heart.
Kitty reached out and brushed a tear from my cheek.
“No, he isn’t, but if you decided to die, there was no other Soma who could match Ri or Elex’s magic. If he had chosen to live, he would have damned his people. Ri chose to save you, in the hopes you could find and bond with Elex, so that you could save your people. All your people.”
I thought for long moments. As much as I wanted Ri back, I knew I couldn’t give up if there was even a chance that I could save our people. He would kick my ass from here to eternity.
“What happens if I say yes?” I asked, my voice thick with emotion.
“We send you back, but… we can’t heal you,” the old woman said, glancing at the other two women. “And you won’t remember this conversation. That would be too much interference. We are already putting our thumb on the scales as is.”
