I despised the very idea of owing that man anything, so as soon as I graduated school, I got a full-time job as a server at a restaurant out on the interstate. It didn’t offer insurance, but itwassomething. My father demanded most of my checks “for room and board”, leaving me only enough money to scrape by. If I hadn’t had a job where I earned cash tips that I could hide from him, I don’t know how I would have made do. There was no way I’d be able to afford my meds on my own, much less save for an escape plan.
We had a deal, and I would keep my end of the bargain.
The pain in my body brought me back to the present, and I tried to remember how much I had loved him once. How much I had idolized him. I remembered I’d had those feelings once, but I couldn’t remember now how they’d felt. They were buried under the years of pain, physical and emotional, that he had inflicted on me.
“What are you lookin’ at?” he growled, my thoughts snapping back to the present as he glared at me.
“Nothing,” I whispered, hoping my eyes didn’t look as dead as I felt inside. “Absolutely nothing. What did you want?”
He glared back at me. “Don’t you talk back to me,boy,or was one ass whooping not enough for you?”
My eyes narrowed, but I didn’t say anything. My mom’s gentle voice whispered through my ears.“Don’t rile him. Get to your room. Get a shower. Get some sleep.”
“Make sure you take the trash out in the morning,” he growled, before taking another swig of his beer. “I don’t want it stinking up the house.”
I really wanted to tell him where he could put his trash, but I restrained myself.
“Yes, sir,” I said through gritted teeth.
“And clean up the glass in the kitchen,” he yelled. I backed away from his door and headed to the kitchen. If he saw my bleeding back it could send him into another frenzy.
My body had started to stiffen, so cleaning up the glass in the kitchen sucked. The climb up to my second story bedroom hurt like hell, too, but at least I knew upstairs I would have a modicum of freedom. I stumbled into my bathroom and turned on the shower. The water took forever to warm up, but at least it gave me time to slowly shed my clothes without too much added discomfort. I climbed under the warm spray and sighed as the heat began to spread through my muscles.
He was going to kill me some day. Iknewthis, as surely as I knew my own name. It was just a matter of time. I had to get out of here, but how?
Vivian helped me hide what cash I could skim from my nightly tips without drawing his attention. I’d learned very quickly not to try to hide too much, he had eyes everywhere, it seemed. The meager income amount I’d saved wasn’t enough to pay for even a month of my treatment without his insurance. Plus, unless I found another way to protect my mother, I wasn’t going anywhere.
I sighed, the warmth beginning to ease some of the pain in my back. I watched the water turn pink from the blood that washed off. If a few tears fell into the pink swirls, well, at least here, it was safe to cry. No one would know. No one would be hurt. No one, but me.
2
Kaine
I woketo the image of a pair of furry asscheeks and a tiny pink hole pointed straight at me. Not in a good way, either.
“Meow!” demanded Bottles, my cat.
Fuck.
I rolled over, pulling the bed comforter up over my head, forcing Bottles to perform a variety of acrobatics to stay on top of me. She snuck her nose under the blanket anyway and leaned close to my face, her fishy breath blowing affectionately across my cheek.
“Meooooooow!” She yowled,
“Okay! Okay! I’m getting up!” I groaned as I threw the covers off my head and sat up, my head aching from lack of sleep.
Bottles jumped off the bed and onto my desk. She just barely managed to avoid knocking my camera onto the floor, only to hiss and snarl at the squirrels outside the window.
Bottles had an ongoing war with the two squirrels that liked to take up residence on the other side of the glass. I’d somewhat-affectionately named them Sassy and Snark. Theysodeserved the names, too! I could see them outside my window, chittering away at my cat. My fingers itched to take my camera and start capturing their antics, but right now, though, I could have done with a little less taunting, and a lot more sleep. My phone beeped, and a text notification appeared.
SONNY: Are you coming to the opening this weekend?
I stared at the text and yawned, running my fingers through my hair. I opened my calendar and tried to figure out my schedule for the day.
Schedules ran my life. Work schedule. School schedule. Dojo schedule. I practically had to schedule myself bathroom breaks at times. It was the only way I was able to keep my life in order, and juggle all of my many responsibilities.
My brothers were opening a bookstore this weekend in Highland Square. Thus far I’d avoided committing to attending, but I knew I’d probably be there one way or another.
I’d worked the night before at The Belt, a local gay bar and nightclub, and when I’d gotten home, I’d been too wired to sleep right away. I’d hung out in the living room for a while and watched television, trying to convince my brain it was bedtime. When I finally started to feel tired, I’d drifted upstairs, but found my feet wandering to everyone’s rooms. I couldn’t resist checking through the house to make sure my family hadn’t disappeared. Old habits did die hard, I guessed.
