“Hey, friend!” I smiled when I saw Raylee pull up. She parked in front of me and got out of the car to race me. I hugged her tight because it had been a few months since I last saw her.
“What’s up, bitch! They finally freed a real one,” she cheered, taking a moment to observe my appearance. I had lost a lot of weight during my time in jail since the food tasted awful.
“Damn, girl. You went in there and got slim thick. Maybe I need to get locked up for a few months to drop these last fifteen pounds. Come on and get in this car so we can turn you back into the bad bitch you’ve always been,” she exclaimed.
“I can’t wait. I look homeless and unloved right now.”
“I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you do look like ol’ girl from the movie, Set It Off. I bet Promise was looking at you crazy when you came home.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat at the mention of my baby girl. She was only six months old when I got locked up, and now she was almost three.
“Yeah, Chop brought her to see me while I was locked up, but holding her in my arms was so different. I didn’t want to let her go.”
“How does it feel to be a free woman? You handled those two years like a champ if you ask me. I would have been crying and begging to get out every day. Especially because they would send me to the men’s facility even though I’m clearly a bad bitch.” Raylee flicked her hair over her shoulder, almost hitting me in the process.
“Yeah, I found that out when I got arrested. There was a really pretty trans woman in the holding cell, and once theyrealized that she had been born a male, they carted her off to another cell. You would think they would adjust the rules for the safety and protection of the Trans community.” Raylee and I became friends when my mother moved us to Michigan, and I met Chop through her. As a kid, she made it clear that she was a girl regardless of what her parents thought.
I loved her for her outgoing personality and free spirit, so I supported her with everything she wanted to do. Her parents weren’t on the same page, but that was to be expected. They were the typical church enthusiasts who believed everything in the world was a sin and abomination. They were the reason I appreciated my mother so much because she never judged me. Even when I made mistakes or got in trouble with boys, she was there to wipe my tears and tell me things would get better.
The thoughts of my mother brought a sadness over me because I missed her terribly. I could picture her now fussing at me about going to jail and asking about her granddaughter. It pained me to realize she would never have the chance to meet her.
“I wonder if my cousin is going to have some of his friends at this party? I might have a man, but there are a few of his friends that I wouldn’t mind taking down.” Chop wanted to throw me a welcome home party. I told him it wasn’t necessary, but he insisted that he wanted my return to be special.
We hadn’t had sex since I returned, but I was hoping tonight was the night. He swore that he had been on his best behavior, but I didn’t believe him for one second. Two years was a long time for anyone to go without sex, and his track record wasn’t the best.
“Have you heard from Samara? I’ve tried to call her so many times, but she either rushed me off the phone or didn’t answer at all.”
When I got locked up, she promised to be there for me, but things shifted the moment I was sentenced. The calls dwindled, and the visits stopped after the first few months. It confused me because we hadn’t argued or had any disagreements, so her coldness caught me off guard.
“Yeah, I’ve talked to her. I heard she was pregnant by some nigga on the northside. She’s always posting about all the gifts and shit he buys her, but she never posts his picture. When I saw her a while back, she was acting weird, so I left her alone. I’m not the person to judge or tell you what to do with your life, but you might want to reconsider who you let into your space.
“Whoever wasn’t there for you while you were locked up, you need to leave them where they are. She might be your family, but she proved that she didn’t care about you when you needed her the most. Hell, I feel the same way about Chop. You thought taking that charge was the right thing to do, but it was a dumb ass decision. At the end of the day, you have a daughter to live for, and that’s the only person you should be focused on. I’m not telling you to leave him, but I hope you open your eyes to see what’s truly important.”
Guilt settled in my chest as I processed her words.
“I know. I feel like I let her down, and now I have to play catch-up since I’ve missed so much. As much as I want to blame Chop, I should have known better. Everything happened so fast, and my main concern was to keep him out of jail.”
“At your expense? I’ve always considered you the smart one, but I’m not so sure anymore. You took a charge for your man, and he sat there and allowed you to sit in that dirty ass jail for two years. What kind of love is that?”
Her question stung, but I tried not to let it get to me. At the end of the day, I wanted to protect him because I knew they would try to railroad him. Chop had an unfavorable record due to years of trouble with the law. If he had taken the charge, hewould have been required to serve a minimum of ten years. It was a dumb decision for sure, but it was over now, and I was ready to move on.
“Chop loves me, Raylee. I know I sound like a broken record, but it’s true. Although I hated being away from my daughter, I’m glad she had one of her parents to look after her. Plus, he’s the breadwinner in our household, so it made more sense for me to take the charges. If not, we probably would have lost our house and cars because I wouldn’t have been able to pay for everything.” I tried to reason.
“I love you, boo. All I want is for you to be happy, and I’m not convinced he has your best interest at heart. He might be my cousin, but he still ain’t shit.”
“Enough about my relationship. What’s going on with you and your lawyer boo? Do you think you’re gonna make it to the matching pajamas stage?” I pressed. She had been telling me about this new man in her life for the last three months, and she seemed genuinely happy about him.
“I’m not sure about that.” The sadness in her tone couldn’t be missed, which led to even more questions.
“What do you mean? I thought you said he paid for your new house and took you on a shopping trip. What happened?”
“Girl, it’s been so much going on. I didn’t fill you in on anything because I didn’t want you to worry while you were locked up.”
“Well, tell me now. You know I’m always in your corner.” I assured her. Raylee had always been the person I told all of my secrets to. Even if she disagreed with my decisions, she gave me the space to express myself.
“It turns out he has a wife. She found my social media pages and has been harassing me for weeks. I told Trenton about it, and he promised to handle things, but she hasn’t stopped. He swears they are getting a divorce, but she doesn’t seem to be onthe same page. Last week, she found out where I worked and showed up at my job. I was on a lunch date with Trenton, so they called the police because she refused to leave.”
“How do you feel about everything?” I heard the sadness in her voice and knew she was hiding her true feelings.
