“Welcome to Temple of Faith.” The door greeter handed us a program as we walked inside. We took a seat in the back of the church with a few other latecomers. The sanctuary was massive, but there were barely any empty seats. I swayed to the music the praise team was singing, even though I didn’t know the words.
After they took up the offering, they introduced the pastor of the church. I was surprised when a tall, handsome, chocolate man grabbed the mic and began to speak. His aura reminded me of Dreaux because of the way he instantly garnered the attention of the crowd. The salt-and-pepper beard was the only distinguishing feature of his age, as he could easily pass for a man in his thirties.
“Good morning, church. Let’s give God praise for allowing us to see another day! The coroners made their rounds throughout the night, yet God saw fit to allow you to wake up this morning. If that isn’t a reason to praise Him, then I don’t know what is.” The crowd cheered and raised their hands. It had been so long since I attended Sunday service that I felt a little out of place.
“As much as I would love to stand up here all day, I won’t be the one delivering the message today. Since it’s Women’s Day, I have the pleasure of introducing a dynamic woman of God. I remember when she used to bully me and take all of my toys when we were kids. I still want my Hot Wheels collection back, but I guess I’ll let it go for now.”
Again, the crowd roared with laughter. I could tell he had a sense of humor, and the members seemed to love him.
“You may know her as Missionary Hudson, but she will always be tattle-tale Nadira to me. Alright, alright, let me stop playing. She’s giving me that look that it’s time for me to wrap it up. I probably don’t say this often enough, but you are an inspiration to me, baby sister. You never allowed life to knock you down. I’ve watched you go through some things that would have broken most people, but you kept your head lifted high. I’m honored to be your pastor, but most importantly, I’m blessed to be your brother. Now, come on up here and give us a word from the lord. I need all of you to point your hand in her direction as she comes and say, ‘God Bless, Missionary Hudson.’
“God bless you, Missionary!” The congregation cheered for her as she stepped up to the pulpit. The two of them hugged, and I noticed the Pastor whisper something in her ear that made her cry. When she turned to face the crowd, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. She had the same nose and eyes as Dreaux, and it was crazy to see. She was a light-skinned, curvy woman with long, flowing hair. At first, I thought it might be a wig, but the jumbo screen showed the gray hairs on top.
“Whew. I hope you all are praying for me because I’m a ball of nerves.”
“We got you, Missionary!”
“Have your way, Lord!
“Bless her!”
The congregation shouted from all over the sanctuary. I glanced over to Dreaux, who wore a stoned expression on his face. His eyes were focused on her, but I couldn’t tell what he was feeling.
Missionary Hudson offered a prayer over the congregation and the message, then shared the scripture she would be reading. I reached over to grab a bible from the little cubby on the back of the pew. Everyone stood as she read the scripture and listened intently as she began to speak.
“I thought it was funny that Pastor Nehemiah brought up our little squabbles as kids. I used to torment that man, and my daddy would always take my side. Nehemiah would be so upset while I stuck my tongue out at him in victory.”
I laughed along with the church. You could tell they loved each other, regardless of their issues as children.
“One day, I broke his favorite game, and Nehemiah went off on me. I had never seen him so angry with me, but I paid it no mind because I thought he would get over it. For years, I had done things to upset him, and he would get over it within a few minutes or hours, depending on the severity of the offense. That time was different, though. I remember trying to go into his room, and he ignored me as if I weren’t even there.”
“Of course, being the spoiled brat that I was, I thought if I told my momma on him that she would make him play with me. I was so wrong, y’all. That lady looked square in the eyes, and she said, ‘You can’t hurt people and expect them to get over it just because you’re ready to move on.’
“I stood there stunned because no one ever made me take accountability for my actions before. It felt like a dagger to my little heart, and I didn’t know how to feel. My momma sat me down on the couch, and she broke it down in a way I would never forget. She told me that when you hurt people, it’s up to you to make it right. You have to be willing to take accountability forthe things you do in life, or don’t be surprised when the people you care about start walking out on you.”
“I took my little butt up those stairs, and I made things right with my brother. The lesson behind it stuck with me for the rest of my life. When I found myself broken and strung out on drugs, it was my brother who came and picked me up off the street. He held me in his arms while I suffered from the consequences of my poor decisions. I cried in his arms when I had to make one of the hardest decisions in my life, and he never judged me. When our father passed away, he stepped up for me like a father figure. There wasn’t a single moment in life that he wasn’t there for. Whew, I’m sorry, y’all. You know I’m a crybaby.” She paused to wipe her tears, and I wiped a few of my own.
I could tell she was speaking from a place of healing because she had overcome whatever she had gone through.
“I never understood the power of forgiveness or being forgiven until I had to forgive myself for not loving myself enough. I made a lot of mistakes in my life, and there were so many times when I felt like I didn’t deserve happiness because of my choices. I thought suffering was my punishment, and so I allowed people to hurt me and take advantage of me because I didn’t think I deserved better.”
Dreaux’s leg bounced, and I placed my hand over his knee. His eyes traveled to his leg before he looked over at me. I could tell her words were affecting him, but I wasn’t sure if it was in a good way or a bad one. Honestly, her message felt like it was made specifically for me.
“If you don’t take anything else away from my message today, I want you to know that it’s okay to let go. Unforgiveness is a heavy weight, and it doesn’t ease up unless you let it. It holds you back from your purpose and from the blessings God has for you. I know it hurts. Rejection, disappointment, and betrayal are all painful. It hurt your feelings when they rejected you. It hurtwhen they made you feel as if you weren’t good enough. That’s okay. You have every right to feel how you feel, but don’t stay there.”
“There is more power in forgiveness than there is in holding a grudge. There is no healing in grudges. No chains can be broken when your heart is filled with anger and resentment. Now, I’m not telling you to allow people to continue to hurt you, nor am I telling you that you have to allow people access to you after they have hurt you. Only you can determine if a person should be in your space. The only thing I’m telling you to do is let it go. Ask God to heal your heart so you can be free.”
“Being a mother taught me just how necessary forgiveness is. If you’re a parent, then you know exactly what I’m talking about. I raised two boys, and they gave me a run for my money. I’ve apologized to them on so many occasions for not always being the mother they needed me to be.”
The moment those words left her mouth, Dreaux got up and walked out. A few people turned their heads to see what was going on, but luckily, we were in the back. I grabbed my purse and followed after him. One of the ushers told me he went outside, so I headed out the door. I noticed him sitting on one of the benches out front. I considered whether to head out there or give him space, but I decided to go with my gut.
“I can’t believe you left me in there by myself. You had the ushers staring at me as if I was the one who interrupted the service,” I teased. A small smile spread across his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
I took a seat on the bench next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. It was crazy how comfortable he made me feel whenever he was around.
“Are you going to go back inside?”
“I don’t think coming here was a good idea,” he uttered.
