‘Yeah.’ I rub the back of my neck. ‘Yeah.I am so much better than okay it’s not even funny. You are so beautiful. I’m gonna worship you, all right?’
‘Well, hurry up then,’ she whispers, clambering uprightand coming towards me on her knees. ‘Believe me, I’m going to worship you right back. You aremagnificent.’
She’s right in front of me, on the bed, on her knees. She slides one hand around to grab my ass and draw me closer, while the other comes between us to cup my balls, andfuck.My dick is pressing against her, painting her stomach with its wetness. I lean down and tip her head up to me and kiss her. Mouths open. Tongues testing. The arch of her throat is so soft. She makes a little noise, and her vocal chords vibrate under my fingers.
Elle Hart is happening to me all over again. The awe I feel in this moment is just like that first night we were together in her hotel room in Cannes. But I can’t play thedo you remembergame, because she hates my fucking guts for everything that’s happened before. She’s here with me right now despite our memories, not because of them, and I’d do well to remember that.
Let’s see if we can make new memories. Memories that help us erase the past. Memories that just might form a foundation solid enough to allow us to move forward together.
With infinite gentleness, I take her shoulders and ease her back down onto the bed, because I won’t survive a minute with my goddamn balls in the palm of her hand like that. This moment is for her. Just her.
CHAPTER 37
Elle
I’m in a dreamlike state before Josh even touches me properly.
He’s so right: our frantic hookups in our trailers have been hot beyond belief, and just what we’ve needed when we were shooting and got caught up in the moment, but we both need this. To enjoy each other. To take our time, luxuriate in each other.
The way he’s been with me these past couple of weeks, I can’t deny the fierceness of his appetite for me. It’s like the guy has tunnel vision and I’m the only thing he sees. It’s gratifying, I won’t lie, but I keep coming back to the same bloody thing.
He was like this before. Exactly like this.
And he walked away.
So however ardently his gorgeous brown eyes bore into mine, however worshipfully he touches my body, however skilfully he gives me release, I’m taking it one night at a time. Refusing to even let the F-word (‘future’) onto my radar when it comes to Josh Lander.
That’s not to say I’m not one hundred percent ready fortonight. As lovers (ugh, I hate that word, but what can you do? Isfuck-buddiesbetter?), we’re so attuned it’s terrifying.
My body needs this.
Ineed this.
And I won’t deny having Josh Lander so far gone—so consumed over me—is a huge boost to my self-confidence and makes me feel a lot better about my decision to let him back into my life in this incredibly intimate way.
Not to mention, he’s the most beautiful specimen of manhood I’ve ever seen. That’s the really irritating thing. No one else hits the spot quite like him.
The way his jaw curves before squaring off.
The perfect density of his stubble (ridiculous, I know).
The slightly feline shape of his eyes.
The way his lids, with their dark, thick lashes, grow heavy when he looks at me.
The dip of his cupid’s bow.
That hair, the ultimate dirty blonde, cries out for me to rake my fingers through it.
To grab it and make his scalp tingle.
And shall we talk about his body? Hooooly hell, his body. Those crazy caps of his delts, and the fact that his torso manages to be beautifully lean but undeniably strong. His bum is edible, and his athletic thighs, with their powerful quads, taper into long legs. And let’s not even get started on his dick.
I stare down at it greedily as he frames my head with his hands and crawls up my body on all fours. This man hasI mean businesstattooed across his forehead, and I’m pretty ecstatic to be his project of choice this evening.
He lowers his gorgeous face to mine, his eyelashes sweeping his cheeks, and kisses me in a way that tells me he has all evening. He’s not in a hurry. I suspect he’ll eke this out. Make me wait. Make me beg.
I already can’t bear it.
