‘And Nora wants to make Jonathan jealous—you know, her ex, who’s shacked up with that insipid girl. Also, Nora and Theo may or may not have shared an extremely passionate kisswhen we were at uni, and Nora may or may not have more complex feelings for Theo than she’s willing to admit to herself or anyone else. Got it?’
‘Oh, boy.’ Josh lifts his face from Olive’s tiny head, which he’s been showering with kisses, and grins at Nora. ‘That is fucking awesome. That true?’
Nora folds her arms and narrows her eyes. ‘Your synopsis of the situation is technically accurate. Your insinuations about my feelings are not.’
‘Whatever you say.’ I bat my eyelids at her. ‘I just can’t wait to see you and Theo snuggled up together.’
‘It’s lunch. There will bezerosnuggling.’
‘Did Theo get that memo?’ Josh asks, and I snort.
‘He knows if he takes the piss, I won’t play ball anymore.’
‘My middle cousin is a character,’ I tell Josh. ‘A bit of a ladies’ man. Let’s just say, I suspect he’ll play the part of the ardent boyfriend with great aplomb.’
Josh winks. ‘I gotta see this. I look forward to shaking him by the hand.’
I have a new favourite person,and that’s Miles’ fiancée, Saoirse. She’s adorable—a beautiful girl from Dublin who’s about my age, with a cloud of black hair, legs to die for and the sweetest manner with my niece (or second cousin, or whatever the hell she is), Bea. I mean, I know she was Bea’s nanny, but she’s seriously maternal in a way I hope I can be sometime.
And Miles is smitten. His ex was a scary, perfect socialite who I never clicked with much beyond superficial chit-chat, so I’m thrilled he’s found someone normal and warm andloving. He seems very protective of Saoirse, and she clearly adores him. This should be one fun union for Nora to plan.
My maternal aspirations ramp up at dizzying speed when Stephen, Miles’ youngest brother, drapes a muslin over Josh’s shoulder and hands him one of his baby girls to hold. She’s awake but sleepy, in the prettiest little dress embroidered with rosebuds. The twins were premature, and, at seven months, are still tiny and delicate. They’re identical, but I think Josh is holding Charlotte, and the look of awe on his face as he stares down at her tiny features is something I won’t forget easily.
I sidle up to them, like a moth to a bloody flame. ‘She’s pretty cute, isn’t she?’
He drags his eyes away from where she’s clutching his finger with her tiny hand. ‘Yeah. She’s perfect. Seriously, I can’t believe how tiny she is.’
‘Want one of those, one day?’
His eyes darken. ‘Only if she looks exactly like her mommy.’
Oh my sweet Jesus.
I want to take him home right now and make babies.
Over. And over. And over again.
Acting career be damned. I lean forward, careful not to crush Charlotte (or Emily, who knows?) and brush my lips against his. ‘Be careful what you wish for.’
Could this be my future? Kissing Josh while a sweet, sleepy baby lies in his arms? I fucking well hope so.
This morning, in bed, he asked me if I thought my dad would ever agree to my marrying an addict. It made my jaw drop with shock that that was how he saw himself: An Addict.
In my head, Josh’s addiction is a cross he has to bear, but it’s not who he is.
And it doesn’t make him broken.
Or unworthy of being loved.
Of being happy.
Forever.
‘I dunno,’ he said this morning. ‘If it were my daughter, I wouldn’t want to hand her over to someone who was an unexploded bomb like that. I mean, I could fall off the wagon and wreck our lives any time.’
‘Josh.’ I raised myself up on one elbow and looked down at him, scraping my fingernails lightly over his stubble. ‘Everyoneis an unexploded bomb. I could get cancer tomorrow. More probably, I could lose my bowel tomorrow and have to shit in a bag for the rest of my life. You are not a liability, honey. You’re an amazing guy who is brave enough to make the right choices for himself every single day, and that’s the kind of guy I want to hitch my wagon to. Okay?’
‘Hitch.’ He ran a finger down my nose, over my lips. ‘Like, hitched? You wanna get hitched to me?’
