‘You okay, Princess? Keep moving. You’ll warm up quicker.’
He’s right. Once we’re almost out of our depth, I tread water hard, and an invigorating sense of warmth floods my veins. It feels incredible. I feel alive. I dip my head backwards so I can look up at this glorious, cloudless sky, and the cold makes my scalp tingle and gives me a head rush.
When I right myself, Josh is closer to me. Or else I’ve moved closer to him. He’s staring at me wordlessly, and I gawp at the view of this man, his huge shoulders still visible above the water, at one with sky and sea. It’s just me and him and the seagulls, and anything feels possible.
‘Come here,’ he whispers. He slides his hand around my waist and pulls me in towards him.
I’ve been thinking about kissing him incessantly since he introduced himself last night. My brain keeps ricocheting between how ridiculous it is to even imagine that kissing someone like Josh Lander is possible, and remembering his words and looks and innuendos. He’s definitely been linked with his fair share of gorgeous starlets over the years, but to give credit where it’s due, he’s been nothing but attentive and sweet and complimentary with me.
Still.
It’s so odd to think I could have a shot with him. Even though he stuck by my side till dinner last night. Even though he’s sharing his secret hideaway with me this morning.
It’s odd until his other hand slides over my bum, which I take as a sign that I should wrap my legs around his waist and drape my arms over those hulking shoulders, which are coolly slick to the touch.
It’s odd until I find myself practically nose to nose with him, the coldness of the water forcing my blood to pump through my veins at a rate that makes me feel spectacularly alive.
It’s odd until he nudges forward and puts his mouth to mine, and I find myself in sensory paradise.
The welcome heat of Josh’s body against me.
The decisive grip of his hand on my bum, pressing me flush against his hard stomach.
The firmness of his lips as he kisses me, tentatively at first, and then more forcefully.
That first taste as our wet, salty mouths collide and I open for him.
The warmth of his tongue as it finds mine and strokes. Probes.
The delicious pressure of his chest against my cold, pinched nipples as he pulls me in closer and takes his liberties. His hands are everywhere: fisting in my wet hair, toying with the tie on my bikini top, thumbs dragging along my jawline, fingers sliding over the curves of my bum and down my thighs. For my part, I cling to him like a creepy koala and take my fill.
I am groping Josh Lander.
Josh Lander’s tongue is in my mouth.
Josh Lander is sucking on my lower lip.
Oh my goodness.
I wriggle in closer towards him and observe with delight that his washboard stomach isn’t the only thing that’s hard against me.
I have given Josh Lander an erection.
I’m going to die.
We do actually kiss like we’re dying, like this is our first and last kiss of all time. He’s really going for it, which makes me feel far better about the fact that I’m seriously going for it, too. I can’t get enough of him, can’t get enough of his mouth and his body and the way he looks at me like I’m apain au chocolatfresh out of the oven.
I dip my head and slurp at the salty wet of his shoulder, and rub my nose along the curve of where his neck meets his shoulder. And when I lift my head and draw back enough to see his face properly, he gives me a panty-melting grin.
‘I have wanted to do that since you appeared on that screen with a bucket of chicken-feed.’
My face breaks out in a thrilled and embarrassed smile.
‘Oh, yeah.’ His hand cups my bum and squeezes, and his eyes darken. ‘I’ve been torturing myself with lust and remorsesince I saw you lie back and let that dick fuck you on-screen. Because it was so fucked-up, but you were still the hottest thing I’d ever seen. So freaking beautiful. And I’m totally ashamed to say that when you saidyes, sirto him, I nearly shot my load. Right there in the auditorium.’
I swallow. The weight of my desire hits me deep and low inside. Those scenes were seriously tough to film, but we talked about this so much on set: the conflict those sex scenes created. That they were simultaneously morally repellent and erotic. The discomfort the viewer would likely face in attempting to sit with that conflict. To square it off in his or her own mind. What Tina produced was true art, and this revelation that my on-screen self turned Josh Lander on in a dark auditorium is a heady gift.
I stroke my hands over the gorgeous caps of his delts and down his pecs. The intensity in his voice and in his eyes: it’s too much. It’s too alluring. And dangerous. I’m far from experienced in these matters, but I want him. Really, really badly.
