“That’s not it. It’s not all of it.” I run a finger over my bruised knuckles. “Colt’s dead because of me. Why should I be happy when he’ll never get that choice?”
Dad’s eyes fill with pain. “What are you talking about? Colt died in a car accident, Dalton.”
“Because I called him to come get me from that party I wasn’t supposed to be at.”
“That doesn’t matter. I picked all three of you up at different times in our lives. So did your mother. Places you were and weren’t supposed to be at. Anything could happen to any one of us at any time. That’s life. What happened to your brother was a horrible accident. You’re not to blame for it.”
I press my finger harder into the bruises along my knuckles. “He shouldn’t have been out that night.”
“It was his choice,” Dad replies firmly. “And I’m sorry if I ever made you feel like you needed to shoulder the blame for that. I don’t want you living trapped in what happened to Colt.You deserve to live your life and be happy. And it’s what your brother would want you to do.”
Just like when I talked to Sam about this, I know my dad is right. Colt would be pissed if he found out I’ve been living this way, that I’m going to let Sam go because of what happened to Colt that night. I’d be pissed at him if our roles were reversed.
“You’ve been holding onto it for a long time; I don’t expect it to change overnight, but I want you to think about it. Don’t throw whatever you have with Sam away because of what happened to Colt. You both deserve more than that.”
I’m not sure if he’s right about me, but he is about Sam. He deserves the world, and if I’m not willing to give him that, I should let him go. The only problem is, if I even think about letting him walk away, my heart protests violently. I don’t want to think about Sam with anyone else. I can’t think about some other guy’s hands on his body or kissing those incredible lips.
No, there’s no way I can let Sam go. He does deserve the world, and I’m the man meant to give it to him.
Fourteen
Sam
As soon as Dalton leaves the room, I grab the sweater Dalton’s been loaning me and pull it on just to have something that smells like him on me.
My hands are steady, but my heart is pounding, and my breathing feels shaky. I expected things like that in the club; I watched for it. But I’d let my guard down here. I’d let myself feel safe with Dalton.
I’d been so certain when he barged in here that he wasn’t going to believe me. He’d known Arnie so long, stayed his friend because of his connection to Colt. But Dalton stopped him, beat him for touching me. No one has ever done anything like that for me. After living with my dad, it was easy to start thinking I didn’t deserve to have anyone protect me. I spent the last five years doing everything in my power to make sure Nathan never felt that way. No matter what Dad did, I wanted my brother to know he was worth protecting.
Dalton made me feel that way today. Like I was worth fighting for.
I just wish he wanted more with me.
My phone buzzes, and I scoop it up from the bed, hoping it’s Dalton.
My brother’s name flashes across the screen instead, so I take a breath and put a smile on my face so he’ll hear it in my voice.
“Hey, Nathan, everything okay?”
“Yeah. You weren’t answering my texts. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I’m fine. I left my phone in the bed when I got up, and I didn’t hear it vibrating. How’re things with Kayla?”
“They’re fine.” Suspicion creeps into his voice. “You sound weird.”
“I-I’m probably getting a cold.”
“You sound upset,” Nathan pushes. “Is it Dalton?”
“No, no, everything’s fine.” I can’t bear to tell him about what happened with Arnie, so I tell him the other thing I’d planned to never share with him. “I was ice skating with one of the kids yesterday, and the ice broke. I went through it. It was only for a couple seconds because Dalton pulled me out, but I don’t think my immune system cared for it.”
“Sam!” Nathan yells so loudly that I ease the phone from my ear. “You should’ve told me before now.”
“Why? So you could worry like a little old lady?”
He scoffs. “You’re one to talk.”
His teasing brings a real smile onto my face. “I miss you.”
