Jude’s shaking as he stumbles from the bed and grabs his own clothes from the floor. When he doesn’t answer me, I ask, “Who’s Grant?”
He jerks his head up to look at me. “What?”
From the confusion in his eyes, I realize he doesn’t even remember calling me by that guy’s name. “I met him the other day. He told me to tell you that he was looking for you.”
Jude turns away from me as he jerks his shirt on. “He’s nobody.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“Don’t,” he snaps. “Don’t ask me questions like you care. All you want is to fuck me because I make you feel good. That’s all I am to you.”
I don’t take the bait. He wants a fight because it’ll hurt less than whatever’s clouding his mind. But I’m not up for that tonight. “Who’s Grant?” I ask again.
“Fuck off, Max.”
“Who’s Grant?” I reach out and grab his arm when he tries to move around me. “Who is he?”
“He’s my ex,” Jude snaps. When he looks up at me, I see wetness in his eyes. He’s still shaking. “We went out, okay?”
“He’s like forty years older than you.”
“Thirty-one,” Jude corrects, his voice soft. Haunted. “I was fifteen.”
My heart drops into my stomach. “That’s…”
“I didn’t want it, okay? He was my father’s friend. I wasn’t allowed to say no.”
My stomach twists with revulsion. I’d known his ex had been bad, but I didn’t realize it was so awful. The way he treated Jude is bad enough, but the fact that he forced himself on Jude… I can’t even wrap my head around that.
Jude catches the look on my face and blushes fiercely. He pulls his arm from my grasp. “I know.”
“Jude…why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why should I have? We’re nothing, Max. We’re just fucking until I leave in a couple days.”
He’s saying it to hurt me, and it works. But I don’t let myself focus on it. “You know we’re more than nothing.”
“No, we’re not.” His voice is turning cold, shutting himself down to me. “We just fucked, like I have with every other guy I’ve met.”
“Except for Grant, obviously.”
He pulls back like I hit him. “I wasn’t—”
“You’re the one who keeps calling him your ex. Why don’t you call him what he is? He assaulted you, Jude. You were a kid. He’s a child predator.”
“No.” His jaw clenches. “He only ever did it to me. That meansIwas the problem. There’s something wrong with me.”
“How the hell can you think that?” Irritation flares in my veins.
“You let me get you off in an alley the night we met,” he points out.
“Yeah, because you offered to give me a blowjob themomentwe met.” I know as soon as the words leave my mouth that it was the wrong thing to say.
His blush grows darker, and he looks away from me. “You’re right. Because I’m good at it, Max. I’m good at having sex with guys because I know what they like, what they want. How do you think I knew the minute we met that you liked being controlled?”
I don’t have a good answer for that, so I stay silent.
Jude shakes his head. “Look, forget it. Can we just get back into bed?”
