I don’t say anything to stroke his ego, so he tosses his greasy rag at me. I catch it easily.
Dom shifts to lean against the side of the Honda, and I join him, staring at the Brooklyn Bridge in the distance.
“Are you really leaving after the wedding?” Dom asks, his voice low as he glances down at his blackened fingers.
“Yep.” I expect him to get angry, but he doesn’t say anything for a long minute.
When he finally does speak, his voice is soft. “Why? I understand if you had something out there for you, but you don’t. You don’t have a kid, a woman.” He hesitates before adding, “Or a guy.”
I glance over at him.
“Yeah, I’ve seen you looking at guys when we’re out,” Dom says. “That waiter at the coffee shop? Come on.”
A smile tries to worm its way onto my face. “He was kind of cute.”
It’s a relief to say it to him, to talk to him about it. It’s not that I ever thought he’d be ugly about it, but I guess I just didn’t want him to link that to Grant in any way.
“So?” Dom asks, nudging my shoulder with his. “Why won’t you stay? Everything’s okay between you and Rowan, right? Isn’t that why you left in the first place?”
“I…I’m used to it now,” I say. “I don’t like staying in one place.”
“You don’t think you could try it?” Dom presses.
I should tell him about Grant. If I explained it, maybe he could help me. Maybe he’d have an idea of what to do. Or maybe he’d kill Grant, and Dom would go to prison instead of his honeymoon.
“If you’re not careful, someone will think you’ve missed me.”
He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I have missed you, Jude. I wish you’d never left.”
I look away from him. It’s weird to hear him say that when I had been so determined that they must’ve hated me. Rowan especially.
“I don’t know if I can,” I reply, my voice not as strong as I want it to be.
“Because of Grant?”
For half a second, I think he must know Grant has come to see me. Max or Rowan told him. But then I realize he’s talking about the past. About all the memories clogging this city.
“Maybe.”
“You’re not that same kid,” Dominic says. “Whatever went on with you and Grant, it’s over.”
I swallow and stare down at the asphalt, trying to keep my breathing even. “You don’t understand.”
“Then help me to.”
I shake my head and push off from the car. “I have to go. I’ve got a date.”
“Jude…”
“I’ll see you later.”
I leave, and he doesn’t try to stop me. I don’t think there’s anything I can do to really explain to Dom or anyone else what it was really like with Grant. Or the fact that whenever I think about him, whenever I’m near him now, it’s like I’m back in high school. I’m fourteen again, and there’s nothing I can do to stop Grant from touching me.
***
Even though Max and I haven’t talked about meeting up again, I head to his place. He’d told me Fridays were half days for him, so he should be back by now.
I’ve been avoiding him a bit after the alley situation. He was so sweet about it, but him seeing me in such a vulnerable position freaked me out. And then I almost told him about Grant when Max texted to check on me. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.
