Maybe Jude’s looking for a job. He certainly looked comfortable propped up on the bar, that cigarette hanging from his lips. I try to imagine him behind the bar. Somehow, I don’t think he’d like taking orders too much.
The thought of him getting lippy, disobeying, sends a jolt of heat through my body, and I lean over my desk, trying to shove the image of a non-repentant Jude out of my head. But I can’t stop replaying his words in my mind.Why don’t you go out and get a blowjob? It’ll loosen you up.
What if I had said yes? How would it feel to have his soft lips wrapped around my dick, bobbing his head in time with the rhythm of my thrusts?
I start throbbing just thinking about it, and I reach down to unzip my fly, trying to ease some of the pressure. But that’s a fucking mistake because as soon as my knuckles brush over my cock, I nearly explode.
Fuck. Why the hell am I letting Jude get to me like this? Just because he has a smart mouth?
I grit my teeth and try to tamp it down. It’s not just that. It’s because he made me feel something after so fucking long of not feeling anything. I thought I’d never be attracted to another guy again after I lost Patrick two years ago. I haven’t been excited, haven’t felt the need. And now…
I cast my eyes up to make sure the door is locked, then I free my cock from my boxers and grip it tight, no longer trying to push the image of Jude on his knees in front of me from my mind. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes.
Quickly, I swipe my thumb over the precum that’s already gathered and use it to slide up and down. My spine is rigid, and my legs are starting to shake. Fuck, I haven’t felt like this since…
My eyes pop open again as shame courses through my body. The logical part of me knows Patrick would just want me to be happy, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. Not when thinking about Jude brings all the guilt back in.
But it’s just been so long…
My hand shakes as I work it up and down my shaft until that heat I’ve been craving builds, making my body thrum with want. Tingles erupt at the base of my spine; my balls tighten almost painfully.
I squeeze my eyes shut as I lose my mind and explode, cum shooting up and on the underside of my desk.
As I come back down from the high, my heart’s racing. My breathing is so loud and quick.
When the heat starts subsiding, the guilt slams back into me like a freight train. Two years doesn’t feel like enough to have mourned someone fully. There are days where I still reach for my phone to text Patrick before I remember he’s no longer there to read it.
Disgusted, I zip back up and get to work cleaning the desk. Then I head to my private bathroom and splash some water on my face to cool my skin.
Ever since Patrick died, I’ve had a hard time knowing what to do, but this time I’m certain.
I need to stay away from Jude.
Three
Jude
I guess I kind of feel bad about getting Max so flustered at the bar. Well, not really. He looks like he needs to let loose a little. Rowan had told me in passing that he worked as a bartender, but he didn’t give much information about it or his boss.
Still, I think I made a decent impression on Max.
If only it would be that easy with Brigid and Anastasia. I was supposed to meet Anastasia earlier, but she got tied up with work, and Dom and I wandered around the city.
So I’ve never met either one, but I’m sure they’ve both heard earfuls about me. Brigid has probably heard how I left Dominic shortly after he killed our father in self-defense. Anastasia probably knows that when Rowan walked in on me and my math teacher fucking, that I told the cops Rowan was lying. And he went to juvie for a year for beating the hell out of that teacher.
I pause outside the bar and run a hand down my face. It shouldn’t matter what they think of me. It’s not like I’m going to be in their lives for longer than this week. If Rowan gets married at some point, I’ll come back for that, but Brooklyn doesn’t feel like my home anymore.
I’m not sure it ever did.
I take a deep breath and pull the door of the bar open and step inside. It’s almost closing time, so the bar’s empty.
“Flip the sign,” Rowan calls when I step inside, and I do what he says. It unnerves me how nice he’s being to me. If I were him, I would be so angry. He should’ve taken a swing at me earlier.
Two gorgeous women are seated at the bar, and they spin on their stools to face me as soon as I’ve flipped the sign.
“Jude!” Anastasia chirps and stands to dash over and give me a hug. Rowan had sent me a picture of her before so I know who she is, but that photo did not do her justice. Her brown skin is glowing, and she’s in a red dress that stops just below her knees, showing off her long legs.
Brigid follows after Anastasia. Her hug is looser, but she kisses my cheek and gives me a smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
