I do what he says, sitting on the edge of the chair in front of the desk.
Max kneels beside it and presses the cloth to the split in my lip. The coolness feels good, and Max smells good. And I feel safe again.
Max reaches up and brushes my hair from my forehead. “I’m so sorry. I thought I heard something, but I didn’t realize—”
“Don’t,” I interrupt. “It’s fine. Nothing happened.”
He hesitates before lifting his free hand to touch the back of my neck. But it reminds me of how Grant grabbed me there, pushed me to my knees.
I pull back out of his grasp. “I’m fine. I should get back to Rowan’s. I’m sure he and Anastasia are worried.”
“I’ll walk with you,” Max says.
“No.” The last thing I need is for Grant to see me with Max. He’d know in an instant that I’m sleeping with Max. And then Grant will really hurt him. I didn’t go on a single date in high school because I couldn’t risk Grant getting angry with me.
He had all this time to track me down; why did he wait until I got back to Brooklyn?
Hurt fills Max’s eyes, but he tries to cover it. “I really think I should go with you.”
“I don’t need you,” I argue. “I’ll be fine by myself. It’s like three blocks.”
I stand, so he’s forced to drop his hand with the cloth. But he says, “You don’t look okay, Jude.”
“I’m fine.” My knees shake, but I stay standing. I can’t believe I almost did that. I almost let Grant hurt me again.
“Okay.” Max backs off, but I can see the hesitation in his eyes.
Fortunately, he doesn’t fight me as I wrench open the door of the office and step back outside. Even though I know Grant is gone, I still check over my shoulder as I walk. I don’t get close to mouths of any alleys on my way back to Rowan’s.
By the time I reach the apartment building, I’m sweating even though it’s not that hot out. I take the stairs to the third floor and use the key Anastasia gave me earlier to let myself into the apartment.
“Jude.” Rowan’s voice cuts through the anxiety pounding in my head, and I turn to look at him.
“What happened to you?” Rowan asks. “I thought you left the bar a while ago. I was just about to call you.”
“Um, I was mugged. Sort of. Max came out after me, and the guy ran off.”
Rowan comes close and puts a hand on my chin so he can turn my head to get a look at my lip. “You want some ice?”
“No. I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed.” I pull my chin out of his grasp, but the ghost of his fingers remains. He keeps watching me, and for some reason, I don’t move to leave.
“It looks like something Dad did,” Rowan says after a short silence.
“Yeah.” Grant rarely ever hit me. My bruises were always from Dad. And that was only if Dom wasn’t around. Because my oldest brother took every hit Dad wanted to give when he could.
“Jude.” Rowan says my name softly, and it makes me feel young. It reminds me of the moment he first walked in on me and Grant. He’d pulled Grant off me, then grabbed my shoulders, stared into my eyes. And whatever he saw was what made him turn and attack Grant with a rage I didn’t know my brother possessed.
“I’m all right,” I say. “It’s just been a long night.”
Like Max, I see the hesitation in his eyes. And I realize he suspects it might not have been a mugging.
My cheeks fill with heat, and I look away from him. I’m a grown ass man; I don’t need to let Grant bother me. If he’d done something, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. I fuck all the time. Grant would just have been one more.
But then I think of Max’s gentle voice, his lips swollen and red when we were in the shower. Grant wouldn’t have been just one more. He would’ve been—
I shut the thought down before it can take root. I can only look at Grant as someone who once fucked me. If I don’t… I’m not sure I can face it.
Sixteen
