“That feels good,” Jude mumbles as I drop my hands to the fasten of his jeans. When I unbutton them, he steps out of them easily.
For once in his presence, my hands are steady as I take off my own clothes. I love when he takes control, and I love what he makes my body feel, but I don’t think that’s what he needs right now. I have a feeling that if I asked for it, he’d give it to me instantly.
Instead, I take his hand and pull him into the shower stall with me. The water rains down on Jude’s skin, turning it slightly pink. It makes him look younger.
“What do you want?” Jude asks. His voice is low but not demanding like it’s been in the past.
“Just relax,” I tell him. Then I slide to my knees in front of him and take him in my mouth.
He swears and grips my hair with one hand, using his other for balance against the wall.
Unlike last night, I’m not as quick. Instead, I run my tongue along every inch of him, alternating between kissing his cock and sucking gently.
“Fuck,” Jude mumbles. “Shit, Max. You feel fucking amazing.”
His praises warm my cheeks, and I double my efforts, allowing his cock to slide as deep as possible in my throat.
He comes almost instantly, and I slide a hand to the back of his thigh to help him stay steady as he trembles. My eyes water from the pressure, but I don’t pull back until his cock is soft and relaxed in my mouth.
When I stand, I’m a little lightheaded, but I place a hand on the back of his neck and pull his body close to mine. Wordlessly, he lays his head on my shoulder, his nose pressing against my neck.
He stays like that for only a minute before pulling back and moving to kneel in front of me.
“Hey.” I catch his hand, keeping him upright. “You don’t need to do that. It’s okay.”
Confusion flashes in his eyes. “Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“If you don’t want it returned, why’d you do it?”
I frown. “I just wanted to make you feel good.”
“I don’t just do it anywhere,” he says, some of that tension filling his shoulders again. “Like, just because you gave me that now, you can’t just come up to me in the bar or somewhere and expect me to give you a blowjob around other people.”
“Whoa.” I pull back just a little. “What the hell are you talking about? I was just being nice.”
“Well, let me be nice back.”
“No.” I stare up at him, watch the water drip from the tips of his hair. “Who taught you that?”
Jude’s jaw clenches, and he glances away.
My stomach sinks. Jude must’ve dated a real loser at some point in his life.
I shift my hand on the back of his neck a little, urging him to look back at me. “I was really just being nice, okay? I don’t keep score. If I want to suck you off, I’m going to suck you off. Because I want to. Not because I’m waiting for how you’ll pay it back.”
“But why?” Stubbornness creeps into his voice.
“Are you really looking for some hidden meaning in a blowjob? Do you know how fucked up that is?”
He pulls back like I’ve hit him, and I regret my words. Well, maybe only a little. Because I want him to see how fucked up it is. Someone obviously did a number on him at some point. And it kills me that he looks at it like that.
“I just want to know why.”
“Why I was nice? Because you looked like you were having a bad day. That’s it.” My cheeks are hot. I can’t believe he’s making such a big deal out of this. I’ve done that for plenty of guys I’ve dated.
Jude must come to the same conclusion because he sighs and runs a hand through his hair before pulling me against him again. “I’m sorry. I just… I just don’t know a lot of nice people.”
