“Yeah.” It’s got to be better than this place.
Max gives me another smile before reaching back to open the door. “Okay, well, I’ll see you.”
Once he’s gone, I take a few more sips of the coffee, then head to the bathroom for an ice-cold shower.
***
I try not to make it too obvious that I don’t want to be at the dinner. Anastasia cooked, and everything smells amazing, but I don’t necessarily want to be around my brothers. I haven’t spoken to Rowan since he came to talk to me at the hotel, and Dominic is still glaring at me. In-between making underhanded remarks.
More than once, I catch Brigid placing a hand on his thigh, like she’s telling him to cool down. But it seems to only last a few minutes each time. I wish he would just hit me and get it over with. But he wants so much to not be like Dad that he only hits when absolutely necessary. And he’s never laid a hand on me.
By the time we’ve actually sat down to eat, I’m ready to bolt out of here. But I stay because I said I would. And because Anastasia’s cooking tastes even better than it smells.
Unfortunately, it’s a little hard to enjoy because the tension pouring off Dominic is starting to feel thick enough to choke me.
I rest my fork on the side of my plate and meet his gaze. “Is there something you want to ask me?”
The forced conversation coming from the other three stops as they glance up at us.
“Guys, I really don’t think this is the place,” Rowan says.
“Dominic’s the one making it this place.” Yeah, that could’ve come out a lot more mature, but I wonder when Dominic will realize that I hate myself so much already, I don’t need him doing it too.
“Why didn’t you text or call to say you were coming?” Dominic asks, his voice level with anger burning underneath.
“Because I wasn’t even sure I was going to come here until the day I started the drive.”
“So you can come all the way here for a wedding, but you can’t be bothered to clear up what happened in the past with a simple phone call?”
“You weren’t even there when it happened, so it’s none of your business.” The words come out steady, but my body’s already starting to shake. Can he really not tell how much it bothers me that he’s constantly bringing this up? Like I don’t already think about Grant enough?
“It really doesn’t matter.” Rowan says it quietly and firmly, but it’s as though Dominic doesn’t even hear him.
“You lied to the cops about what happened, let Rowan get thrown in juvie, and then you just run away in the middle of the night. Do you have any fucking clue how worried I was when I didn’t hear from you for like a week after you left?”
“You don’t need to yell at him,” Anastasia says, her brows drawn in concern. “That’s not exactly making this situation any easier.”
“I don’t recall asking you,” Dominic mutters.
“That’s enough,” Rowan cuts in. “Don’t talk to her like that.”
Brigid turns to join them, defuse the situation and calm Dominic, so I slide out of my seat and head outside the apartment building. Rowan and Anastasia have a place on Kent, so it’s nicer than anywhere I’ve ever lived. Actual flower boxes line some of the windowsills.
I sit on the front steps with a cigarette and contemplate just leaving. Going to meet with Max early. But before I can really give it too much thought, the door opens, and Rowan appears in the light coming from the front hallway.
I shift so my back is against one of the stone rails, giving Rowan room to sit across from me on the steps.
When he does, the first thing he says is, “I’m not mad at you.”
I don’t respond. Mainly because I’m not sure what to say.
“I’m trying to make peace with never actually knowing the full story,” Rowan continues. “Because I don’t think Dominic’s in the right. The situation is yours to talk about or never talk about. I guess I just wanted to understand. And I want to tell you that if you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen. Even if you say that you lied to the cops to protect Grant.”
My mouth dries out as my cheeks warm. I should stay quiet. I should just nod and tell him I have to take off early. But instead, I ask, “Do you really think I’d pick that creep over you?”
“I don’t think anything,” Rowan says, his voice still soft. Soothing. “I’m simply saying that it’s okay. Juvie was hard, but it didn’t wreck my life. I’m all right.”
I swallow hard, the lump in my throat so large, I feel as though I could choke on it. “Dad said he was gonna kill you if you came home.” This time, my voice does shake. I remember that day so clearly. Everything was such a mess. Dad had screamed at me about what I’d been doing with Grant. Dominic had to pull him off me. I’d never been so fucking embarrassed.
