“Mama, did you send that note to Aunt Hattie?” Elizabeth enquired.
“Indeed, I did. I had it posted from Hertford yesterday; I am sure it will reach her today, so my husband will know at church on the morrow.” Fanny smiled. It was much more pleasant to be the one being amused than a source of entertainment for her uncaring husband.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
“I thought your wife and daughters, especially my intended, would be home by now,” Collins said with a sniff when he entered the dining parlour for dinner that evening. “Are you not able to control your inferiors? Spare the rod, spoil the weak-minded, I say.”
“Are you aware that my wife’s brother lives in London?” Bennet responded. The corpulent fool shook his head, sending his jowls rippling back and forth. “My butler thought he had given me the note that my wife left. She and our four eldest daughters hied to London, as her brother is very ill. As soon as he is on the mend, they will be back.”
Collins could not be happy that he was yet to meet any of the Bennet ladies, and more to the point, the one he would soon marry. He could not wait until he would be able to claim her house and any other property as his own. He deserved to live in comfort until his cousin did him a favour and passed away.
Unfortunately, he could not argue against the ladies doing their duty to a male relative, so as much as he wanted to rail against not meeting his intended yet, he held his peace.
He was thankful Cousin Bennet had not brought up the subject of his trying tosafeguardthe estate funds earlier. In Collins’s mind, had he been able to succeed in removing the money, it would not have been theft, as it would all be his oneday in any case. He could not rob from himself, could he?
Bennet lost his appetite watching his cousin consume every bit of food on his piled-high plate and fill it again twice more. Collins was large, but with the amount he consumed, Bennet was amazed the man did not suffer from gout.
Before his gluttonous cousin had worked on his third plate of food, Bennet stood and made his way to his study. He could not watch, at least not without casting up his accounts, the ridiculous man shove food into his mouth and chew with it open, spraying half-masticated food about as he did. Not for the first time, he asked himself why he had allowed the idiot to come. He admitted to himself it all came down to revenge.
First, on his wife for not providing sport for him as well as removing Lydia from the house, and second, Lizzy for betraying him and siding with her mother. He poured himself a glass of port, but after the first sip he pushed the glass away. After his cousin’s display at the table, the port tasted like ash in his mouth. All he could hope was that he would discover his family soon so all of this would be worthwhile.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
At St Hugh’s, the church in the Longbourn Village, Bennet felt the eyes of the congregation on him as he and his large cousin were the only ones seated in the Bennet pew.
There was a quandary. How to introduce Collins. If he did so as his heir, Phillips and the Taylors were in the church, and they would refute his words. If they did not, most others in attendance knew who the true heir presumptive was. He would just introduce him as his distant cousin, which was, of course, true.
Now he needed to convince the fool not to speak of being the heir to Longbourn. He leant over so his mouth was close to the odiferous man’s ear. “Do not mention your status as my heir here.”
“Why should I not?” Collins responded indignantly.
“Because my neighbours will consider that vulgar, and they will shun you. How will you ever live here if that occurs?” Bennet dissembled.
“I see your point,” Collins agreed. “I will not speak on the subject.”
Bennet was very grateful. He had come too far to have the whole caper destroyed by the overweight man’s saying too much. The service began, and Bennet kept shooting surreptitious glances to see if any of his family members had slipped in. They had not.
After the service, he approached Hattie Phillips away from her husband. “Have you seen your sister of late, Mrs Phillips?” Bennet enquired nonchalantly.
“No, not for some days yet, but I did… no, Fanny asked that I keep it in confidence,” Hattie revealed. “She wrote to me from Hertford, but more than that I cannot tell you.”
“Come now, Sister, surely you can reveal to me the contents of my wife’s letter,” Bennet cajoled.
“She did not tell me what inn she and four of your daughters are staying at, but she did share that she and the girls, well except Kitty, who she says is not out yet, will attend the Autumn assembly on Thursday of next week, but please do not repeat it. She asked me to keep that information private. As you are her husband, I am sure it is allowable for you to know?” Hattie burbled.
‘Perfect,’ Bennet thought. ‘How unintelligent is my wife? She does not realise that requesting Hattie not to tell is a guarantee that she will. I knew my superior intelligence would win out in the end. What a simpleton she is to think she is able to outsmart me!’
As soon as he reached his house, Bennet ordered a tray in his study—he would take all his meals there until he was rid of his cousin so as not to see him eat like a pig eats its slop again—and began to plan what would occur at the assembly.
It had been almost two decades since he had attendedsuch an event, but to see Lizzy put in her place was more than worth it to leave his study and attend.
He would plan as thoroughly as possible and not say a word to the witless, malodorous cousin until the day of the assembly. That way the instructions would be fresh in his simple cousin’s head. Further, he would make sure that on Thursday the man knew what he needed to do to compromise Lizzy. Only a few more days before his wife and daughter would pay for their impudence.
If Collins thought it was strange he was alone at mealtimes going forward, he never mentioned that fact. The food was plentiful; who needed more?
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Even though they did not leave London as early as Bingley would have preferred, at least they were on their way before the clock struck eleven. According to Caroline’s whinging, even that had been too early.
