“Well?” Fanny demanded, arms akimbo as soon as Elizabeth closed the door.
“Mama, did Papa share Mr Collins’s letter with you?” Elizabeth asked, seemingly incongruously.
“No, he did not, you know your father rarely tells me anything,” Fanny stated sadly. Elizabeth felt a tinge of guilt. Could it be her mother understood when she was being teased as Jane had asserted.
It was not the time to think on that yet. “I read it. Mama, part of our cousin’s reason for coming to see us is to heal the breech and extend an olive branch,” Elizabeth reported, “the other part is his desire to make amends for being next in the entail.”
Fanny’s eyebrows knitted as she tried to fathom what Elizabeth meant. It suddenly came to her. “He wants to marry one of you! I will not be tossed out of my house into the hedgerows. We are saved,” she squealed. “It must be you.”
“That is why I wanted to speak to you. As you just intimated, you will not allow him to pay court to Jane as you expect her to make a match with Mr Bingley, do you not?” Fanny nodded her emphatic agreement. “Mama you must know I could not marry a man I would never be able to respect, one who I am far more intelligent than. If he offers for me, I will refuse him roundly.”
“I do not know that! Why should I know, or accept that?”
“Firstly, I have already discussed this with Papa and he will support me and refuse any entreaty Mr Collins makes for my hand. Secondly, Mama think! Who is most suited among my sisters to be a vicar’s wife? Who used to love Fordyce’s Sermons and always quotes passages from the Bible?”
She was aware what Lizzy said was nothing but the truth, Mr Bennet would support her against his wife. “Mary!” Fanny realised. “But Mary is so plain.”
“Mary is no less pretty than any of us,” Elizabeth insisted. “She only started to dress the way she does once she began to believe what you said about her looks. With her hair styled, the spectacles she does not need removed, and a dress whose colour flatters her own colouring, you will have five beautiful daughters. You always did, one of them hid her light under a bushel.” Elizabeth could see protest growing on her mother’s lips. “Mama please wait and listen.” Fanny nodded begrudgingly. “If you direct Mr Collins to me and I refuse his proposal, as I absolutely will, he will not be well pleased, will he?”
“I suppose he will not be.”
“And would a refusal induce him to offer for any of my other sisters?”
“No, I dare say he would feel insulted and slink off while refusing to offer for one of your sisters.”
“In that we agree, Mama. If we work to bring out Mary’s natural beauty and you direct him to her, there is a far greater chance of them marrying than it ever being me.”
“You are so clever, Lizzy. Mary will do her duty,” Fanny perked up.
“Mama, we may need to help Mr Collins with cleanliness and some other things. As much as Mary is enamoured with the church, if she refuses him, Papa will support her. I am suggesting Mary as the best option, but it should be left up to her. If she decides she can never accept him, please do notberate her. In fact, Jane and I will speak to her tonight and see if she is open to Mr Collins paying court to her.”
Fanny agreed knowing if she did not, her husband would order it so when his favourite spoke to him and reported her refusal.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Mary could not understand why her mother insisted her hair be styled, she wear a light pink gown, and she not wear her spectacles to dinner. As one of the commandments was to honour thy mother and father, Mary did not object too loudly. When Mary entered the dining parlour, her father and younger sisters had to look twice to make sure it was her, and Mr Collins realised all five Bennet sisters were extremely pretty, but not as much as the eldest.
Although Bennet was not pleased Lizzy had spoilt his fun by informing his wife of his cousin’s intentions, there was more than enough entertainment watching the man eat, or more accurately, shovel food into his mouth. Even better was the man’s speaking with his mouth half full of food causing some of the semi-masticated food to spray onto the table in front, and around him. Bennet was pleased his cousin was sitting at his wife’s end of the table and not his own.
“You were saying how you like to pay delicate compliments to your patroness, and her daughter, how did you put it, oh yes, the Rose of Kent. Are they spontaneous or prepared in advance?” Bennet enquired.
Collins was about to put his heaped fork into his mouth. Luckily for Mrs Bennet and her two youngest daughters, he returned it to the plate. “They are based on what is passing at the time, however I do amuse myself with pre-planning and arranging such little elegant compliments in advance so I may adapt them as needed. My aim is to always give them as unstudied an air as possible,” Collins averred.
Both father and second daughter had to fight to keep astraight face.
“Did you say your patroness is a widow?” Fanny enquired. “Is the estate not entailed? Is there an heir?”
“There is no entail and my patroness does a masterful job of managing Rosings Park, which she told me, until she passes away, belongs to her. There is one daughter, as I mentioned, the Rose of Kent and heiress of the estate, Miss Anne de Bourgh. She is a most charming young lady indeed. Lady Catherine has told me that Miss de Bourgh is far superior to the handsomest of her sex, because her features mark her as a young lady of distinguished birth.” Collins replied reverently.
“Has Miss de Bourgh been presented and had a London season?” Jane wondered.
“Unfortunately Miss de Bourgh is rather sickly. Her indifferent state of health unhappily prevents her being in London with the attendant odours and vapours. Due to that fact, I related to Lady Catherine one day, her daughter’s absence in Town has deprived the British court of its brightest of ornaments. Her ladyship seemed pleased with the idea and took it as a great compliment to herself.”
As he was about to inspire Mr Collins to more ridiculousness, Elizabeth leaned over to her father. “Papa, do you not think we have had sufficient amusement at dinner?” she whispered near his ear. Bennet nodded tightly.
After dinner Mr Collins volunteered to read fromFordyce’s Sermons, thus ensuring an early night for all. In the past before she saw the truth of thegoodReverand, Mary would have remained to listen to him, but she too chose to go to her bed chamber.
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
