“Mr Bennet, why do you enjoy vexing me so? Who is the man?” Fanny demanded.
“It is none other than my cousin, Mr William Collins, who, when I have been called home, will be able to turn you out of this house,” Bennet revealed gleefully. He looked at Lizzy and was disappointed she did not seem to enjoy his joke.
“Why would that man be coming here? How can he be easy that he will steal this estate from its rightful owners?” Fanny stopped and cogitated. “DID YOU SAY AN HOUR?” she screeched at the top of her voice. “When did this man notify you of his coming?”
“About a month past,” Bennet smirked and then left the drawing room.
“Hill, my salts,” Fanny called. When the housekeeper arrived, the mistress was practically incoherent. Thankfully, Jane told Mrs Hill about the arriving guest and how long he was scheduled to visit.
For the first time in her life, Elizabeth saw her father’s joking for what it was— cruelty. It confused her vastly as she knew not what to think.
Chapter 14
William Collins lumbered off the gig and appraised the house which would be his one day. It was nothing to Rosings Park, but compared to his parsonage at Hunsford it was a veritable mansion. Finally, a Collins would be a land owner. He was somewhat miffed none of the Bennets were waiting to welcome him with the respect he should have been accorded. the heir and a clergyman!
It was no wonder his late father had chosen to be at variance with the Bennets if this was the disrespectful way they behaved. He remembered his patroness’s orders to offer an olive branch, heal the breech, and marry one of his cousins. He could do nought but obey her orders. He could only hope his cousins were not homely. Contrary to his compliments in his letter about their reputed beauty, Collins had not an idea how they looked. The door was opened by an older man, who Collins assumed was his cousin. ‘At least I am shown the respect of Mr Bennet meeting me in person, even if he should have been waiting for me. I did tell him I would be here exactly at four, and I would never be tardy as Lady Catherine will not tolerate it when people are not punctual,’ Collins told himself silently as the older man approached.
“Mr Collins?” Hill verified.
“The very same. Cousin Bennet?” Collins asked as he raised his nose into the air to demonstrate his superiority the way he always saw his beneficent patroness do when she dealt with those below her. Of course, according to her everyone was her inferior.
“No Sir, I am the butler, Hill. Due to the cold, Mr Bennet and his family will receive you in the drawing room,” the butler intoned. Hill opened the door wider allowing the man to enter and then he instructed the footmen to carry Mr Collins’s trunk to the guest chamber.
Mr Collins handed the butler his greatcoat exposing the black suit, white shirt, and white cravat of a clergyman. Then he handed over his broad brimmed black hat, exposing a head with thinning hair. What hair still remained on the crown of his head had been greased to try and give the impression there was more than the reality. Even though it was cold, Hill did not miss the smell of stale body odour marking the man as one who did not bathe on a regular basis.
Once he was divested of his outerwear, Collins followed the butler. As he walked, he looked around appraising the worth of his future property.
Hill opened the drawing room door. “Mr William Collins of Hunsford,” he announced and then stepped aside allowing the rather corpulent, malodorous parson to enter the room.
Those present in the room were able to smell their cousin as soon as Hill opened the door which had the effect of sucking the colder air in the hall into the drawing room. As would be expected, Lydia was not able to hold herself back from loudly exclaiming, “La, what is that smell? It is rather offensive!”
Bennet could not but smirk at his daughter voicing what the rest of them desired to say. His cousin, who looked even more of a fool than Bennet had hoped for based on the ridiculous letter he had written, waddled into the room. ‘All of his spare funds must be spent on food for him to be so very obese! Seeing him during mealtime will be almost as amusing as watching his inept attempts to make love to my daughters,’ Bennet thought happily. His cousin’s time residing at Longbourn promised much amusement.
Collins was greatly offended! Not only had the one cousin who was rather comely, insulted him so, but worse, her father had not said a word to correct and punish the girl. Now that he truly looked at his cousins his mouth fell open. Rather than homely, they were all very pretty. Except mayhap one. She had her hair in a severe bun, wore spectacles, and her dress was drab.
“Welcome to Longbourn,” Bennet drawled. He proceeded to introduce his wife and daughters, the latter in descending age order, as was right and proper.
Collins almost drooled when Cousin Jane was named. She was the eldest daughter, and the most beautiful woman he had ever beheld, so she would, of course, be his wife. In his mind there was no possibility of his being refused. He would find an opportunity to speak to Mrs Bennet. As he was used to bowing and scraping before a woman, he naturally assumed he needed to address the matron and not his cousin.
The one who had insulted him, Cousin Lydia, giggled when she was named, as had the one before her, the second to youngest Cousin Catherine. He would refuse to call her Kitty. How could they take a noble name like Catherine and turn it into Kitty? Did they not understand the privilege of sharing a name with the great Lady Catherine de Bourgh?
Her father had allowed Elizabeth to read their cousin’s letter, so unlike the rest of her sisters or her mother, she was well aware this was a man lacking in sense or decorum. His lack of social graces were demonstrated by the fact he felt he could invite himself to their home, without first writing to introduce himself and establish a correspondence with Papa. ThenifPapa extended an invitation once they had been communicating, he would have been welcomed. Her earlier thoughts regarding her father’s actions which could be equated to cruelty had been pushed to the side when she had read the rambling drivel in the vicar’s letter.
Elizabeth had quickly understood the man intended to seek a wife from among her sisters. At least Papa had vowed he would never bestow his consent were Cousin Collins to offer for her, and the same for any daughter who refused the corpulent man. Elizabeth smiled behind her hand. At the moment Mama was resentful the man was in her house. She had bemoaned several times, in the hour between being informed of his coming and his arrival, that he was only here to catalogue all that would be his when Papa was called home. As soon as Mama realised the man was looking for a wife, he would become her favourite person in the world, surpassing even Jane and Lydia. Elizabeth was sure when Mama learnt about his aim, she would inform him Jane was as good as engaged—even though there was no understanding with Mr Bingley—and she would redirect the simpleton to herself.
Rather than suffer the man’s attentions and have to refuse him, Elizabeth decided to pre-empt the situation, even if that meant she would spoil some of Papa’s fun as he wanted to see Mama’s reaction when she discovered the man was in want of a wife.
With the introductions over, Mrs Hill answered the bell. She led Mr Collins out of the drawing room and up to his chamber. As soon as his cousin left the drawing room, Bennet returned to his study to continue reading his book and to pour a fresh glass of port. Elizabeth waited until Papa closed the drawing room door and then approached her mother.
“Mama, will you join me in the small parlour please, there is something I need to tell you,” Elizabeth requested.
“I am too overset by my nerves, such palpitations and flutterings that I have to treat that usurper as a guest,” Fanny whined. “I have not the strength to leave my chair. Whatever it is, tell me here.”
“It is about a possible husband for one of your daughters other than Jane,” Elizabeth said near her mother’s ear.
Fanny sprang out of her chair, instantly cured. “Well come on Lizzy, do not dawdle,” she cried as she walked towards the door with speed.”
Jane looked at Elizabeth questioningly. Her younger sister shot her an ‘I will tell you later’ look. She shrugged her shoulders as Lizzy followed their mother out of the room and pulled the door closed behind her. All Jane could hope was Lizzy would share the information with her in their chamber tonight.
