Please forgive my omitting this with the first note, I only saw the letter from de Bourgh addressed to you after the groom was already away.
Bennet
He broke his late brother’s seal and sat reading while the other three in the room waited for him silently.
“He and Annie are to be buried at Rosings Park. Catherine will be restricted to her rooms and will not be allowed to act as the grieving widow and mother,” Lord Matlock reported. “As Bennet is the other executor of de Bourgh’s will, we will discuss all on the morrow.”
~~~~~~~/~~~~~~~
Elizabeth lay in her bed late into the night not being able to find sleep. Life could seem so arbitrary and at times unfair. On the other hand she, like all Christians, believed God had a plan. It was hard to think on that at this moment, but thankfully her faith was strong.
“It has been mere hours, Annie and how I miss you already,” Elizabeth said aloud as she looked to the heavens. “If only you had not been sick and there had been no need for God to call you home now… I know, I know, it is a dream and not the reality. How am I to go on without you?”
As she said the last, she could see Anne’s face when she had extracted the promises to live on and have a good life for both of them. As much as she missed Anne, she did not want togive her a reason to haunt her.
She had to fight her inclination to mourn Anne for the rest of her life. Rather she knew she had to live up to the promises she had made to Anne when she had read the letter, a letter she kept in her memory box, and then reiterated verbally when she had visited her, the day she had dreamt Anne had taken her to task for not living up to her promises.
It hit Elizabeth that not sticking to her promises would be a betrayal of Anne and she could never allow that to occur. She really had no choice.
“You win Annie, I will mourn you for six weeks, like you allowed, and then I will live my life. I never promised to stop missing you and that is something I will do until I join you in heaven. Sleep peacefully, my sister.”
Once she had spoken to Anne, Elizabeth felt somewhat easier and was able to fall asleep, even if it was a fitful slumber.
Chapter 31
Elizabeth would not be able to explain how she kept her equanimity and remained calm on their arrival at Oak Hollow knowing Anne was no longer in her bedchamber and Uncle Lewis was not in his study. She supposed it was part of her determination not to disappoint Anne and fall apart even though her stomach was tied in tight knots.
Elizabeth had ridden with her parents, Jane, and Andrew in the lead coach. The remaining three sisters were in one of the two following conveyances. Mary, of course, rode in the same equipage as Richard.
All the ladies wore black bombazine dresses. Sadly, as Anne’s and Uncle Lewis’s health deteriorated, black gowns had been ordered in preparation. The men wore black arm bands on their left arms at the point closest to their hearts.
Bennet handed his wife out before his second daughter. They were followed by Andrew who handed out Jane. The men who had been in the other two coaches were handing out the ladies who had ridden with them. No one left it to the footmen waiting on the sides of each carriage in case they were needed to assist.
Elizabeth looked back towards the second conveyance and watched as the exceedingly handsome Mr. Darcy alit, and stood aside for his uncle. Uncle Reggie reached in for Aunt Elaine and then Mr. Darcy did the honours for Giana.
The last equipage held Richard and the three youngest Bennets. The former handed Kitty and Lydia out before hehelped his fiancée.
While she was watching everyone alight, Elizabeth’s eyes kept on returning to the person of Mr. Darcy. She looked down at the gravel as she berated herself for indulging her attraction to him the day after Anne and Uncle Lewis had passed away.
At that instant, Elizabeth could swear she could hear her best friend’s voice whispering to her. ‘If you think looking at William is disrespectful to me, then you did not know me very well!’
Elizabeth shook her head; she was sure the wind and the situation were playing tricks on her brain.
Soon enough everyone entered the house where the butler and footmen were ready to relieve them of their heavier outerwear. Thanks to the cold snap they were experiencing, autumn wear had been replaced with winterwear.
They all made for the drawing room where the housekeeper had hot drinks waiting for them. “Mrs. Ashton, where is Jenki…Mrs. Jenkinson?” Elizabeth enquired of the housekeeper.
“She is watching over the master and Miss Anne, Miss Lizzy,” the housekeeper averred.
It was decided that the Fitzwilliams—the parents first and then the younger three—would go spend some time with the earthly remains lying in repose in the parlour. The two Darcys would be next, and then the Bennets, sans Lizzy, would go pay their respects. Elizabeth would take her turn last, and alone, having as much time as she desired.
No sooner had the Earl and Countess entered the parlour than Mrs. Jenkinson exited it to give them private time with their late family members.
The instant Elizabeth spied her passing the drawing room door, she ran out and threw herself into Mrs. Jenkinson’s arms. Being with the one who had been as close, if not closerto Anne than she was, cracked Elizabeth’s determination to regulate her emotions as she cried freely in the circle of Jenki’s arms. Just when she did not think she could cry for the young mistress any more, Mrs. Jenkinson joined in the crying.
Fanny guided the two into the small parlour and then returned to the drawing room.
“Jenki, I miss her every second of every minute,” Elizabeth admitted when she was able to speak again.
