For several seconds, he stared at her. Why had he merged Elizabeth with the wretched Martha? The rest of the world disappeared with the horror of isolation that taunted him, that constant companion of emptiness.
“One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold on and we fight to let go. We’ve both been hurt until our souls were broken into little pieces. You hold my undying love in your hands. I’d never betray you. I’ll let no one and nothing in this world ever hurt you.”
He traced the smoothness of her chin, lifting her face to meet his, slowly, lazily, never breaking eye contact. He leaned forward and, in one smooth movement kissed her. Her sweet breath warm against his mouth, the softness and pliability of her lips against his, and then unspoken promises that rocked him a way he wouldn’t have believed.
God. So hot and intense and alone.
He was a selfish wretch, thinking of his own self when Elizabeth grieved her own torment. He brushed his mouth against the side of her throat. Her scent was of pristine woman-things, and that underlying heat of her body: deeper, seductive, a hidden flame that caught fire and blazed inside him.
Her hands held a light quiver as she placed them on his shoulders.
His promise to her father to stay away from her no longer existed. Spencer was a reprehensible man who did not care forhis daughter, only to see her as a piece of real estate to be bought and sold to enhance his status and fortunes.
The one thing he realized with more certainty was that he didn’t simply want another night with her. He wanted her. She was perfect for him. There seemed to be no good reason why they couldn’t elope.
His wife.Once an idea that had seemed far removed from where he was, now it felt right. He wanted Elizabeth to be his wife and for Caroline to be his daughter.
“We will marry. Give me two days. I must finish these last engines and get them to our customers. I’ll have enough money to pay off your father and rent a small brownstone, but we must be on a very tight budget. Everything I make must be used to buy more supplies and materials. Caroline will live with us. No one will question we are adopting an orphan.”
She threw her arms around him. “I’d be happy in a prairie sod house.”
“You realize we’ll be up against insurmountable odds,” he warned. “Your father may come after us.”
She placed her hand tenderly against his cheek and smiled at him. “Once we’re married,” she said, “he won’t be able to do anything about it. To save face, he and Mother will have to put a positive spin on our marriage to save their reputations.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
In that moment, he found a thousand things that he loved about her.
Very slowly and gently, Zachary lifted her chin and kissed her. He kissed her long and lingering, with all the aching tenderness in his heart, and she laid her trembling fingers against his cheek and began to kiss him back.
Her soft lips parted with only the slightest urging from his probing tongue into her mouth, and then she gave him hers. He teased her, tormented her, offered himself to her by thrusting deep with his tongue, then retreating and thrusting again and again, until Elizabeth was clinging to him, her mouth moving back and forth over his in passionate surrender to the wild, erotic kiss.
“I want to experience the strange passion you stir deep inside of me. I know so little of men despite I want to give myself to you. I need you to teach me.”
Shivering and tentative, she pressed her form into him, her full breasts flattened against the cotton of his shirt. Shyly, she moved her hands up his chest and without guile, her fingers continued upward until they stroked the dark hair at his nape.
Zachary placed a gentle finger beneath her chin, and she vibrated with the nervous energy of a doe ready to leap though the forest thicket. Stunned by the force of the need pulsating through his blood, he had to stop this madness before it went any further.
She moaned.
“I understand your fears, Elizabeth.” He remembered her fear after the ball. He must take his time with her.
She dragged her palms from his neck.
“There is a bottom of society that has evil intent…that wants power over another human being. That is not the relationship between a man and a woman. The person who drugged and took advantage of you should be hanged. I would kill anyone who tried to harm you. I treasure you, Elizabeth, honor and cherish you. At any time, if you want me to stop, I will. If you want to cry, we can hold hands.”
Tears gathered in her eyes.
His hand took her face and held it gently. His thumb brushed the wetness away. He slipped his hands into her hair and brought her closer.
There was nothing more that Zachary desired to do but kiss her. He waited for her to bolt, would understand immediately–he intuitively knew her thoughts.
The lantern sputtered then breathed its last, leaving them in a swath of blazing moonlight. He felt her yielding and then restrained himself, for he needed to keep his head. Yet images of her in his arms, the silk of her gown and what lay beneath wreaked havoc with his senses. She was his, always would be, and he liked that fact. His body heated like fire as her soft curves melted into him.
“We are soon to be man and wife. By some strange fate, our destiny is sealed.
Elizabeth’s fingers turned white as she curled her fingers into his shirt. She felt Zachary’s naked longing, his eyes upon her, consuming her. The air between them sizzled in a wordless clash of far-reaching desires and fears, carrying them beyond friendship, beyond human bond and any other passion. That missing part of her life, that isolated part of her that desperately needed and begged for her soul to become one.
