“Not this time. You will be under the protection of my father. He will see to it Baron Bearsted pays for his crimes.”
“What about the fact I committed treason in helping you escape from Fort Oswego?”
“I will tell my father how to spin the story. How I kidnapped you at gunpoint. My father is powerful and will back up the account. No one would dare go against him.”
“But what of us, Joshua? Doesn’t our time together mean anything? Our vows?”
“Quit spinning girlish dreams that will go nowhere. An annulment will be designated by my barrister. You’ll be free.”
“But—”
He held up a hand to silence her, and it tore him apart to voice the words. “Enough, Juliet. We both agree our marriage was in name only, a temporary solution to a precarious difficulty.” He reached out and cupped her chin in his hand, his thumb skimming over her bottom lip. Regret filled him with every word he spoke. “The pretense is up, Juliet. This forced marriage will be terminated. You will go to England, find a nobleman, be his wife and bear his children.”
Though he’d said the words, the thought was like a knife to his heart. To think of Juliet in another’s arms. A fat baron between her milky thighs.
He shook his head.Do not think.
He had to focus on her happiness. Her future. Not himself. “I will settle a sum of money for your use and make sure my father is aware you saved my life at risk to your own. Rutlands always pay their debts. He will be happy to launch you.”
She jerked back as if he struck her in the face.
“I-I see,” she said, her lip quivering. And then, her eyes riveted to his, she straightened. “You are not simply a liar, Joshua, you are a coward. You cannot face the fact that I love you. There I said it, may God forgive me, but I love you. If you do not wish to see me or speak to me again, I accept that too, however hurtful. What I will not accept, Joshua, is the denial, of your feelings for me. You lie to hide it. You do love me. As sure as the wind blows and I breathe, you love me, and before I leave, I will make you eat your remarks, every damned, lying one of them, I promise you that.”
Guilt rolled through him like hot lava. “We are not meant to be together. It is over, Juliet.”
* * *
Joshua met the rest of the day in torment. Part of him wanted to find Juliet and apologize. The other part faced reality. To protect her, he had to send her away.
He came upon Waneek as she worked at weaving a basket. Without looking up, she said, “British soldiers arrived and asked if we had seen any of you. I told them warriors returning from a hunting expedition had seen a group of their description traveling far to the southeast.”
Joshua looked round for a glimpse of Juliet. “Thank you, Waneek.”
The old woman wove a long reed, in and out, in and out. “You are leaving? What of your woman?”
“She will come with me. I will leave her with friends at Blackberry Valley until I can secure her passage to England.”
Waneek was quiet, and then finally spoke. “The reed with which I weave is strong when woven. But if the reeds were not here, there would be no basket. You must learn how to weave them all together.”
Joshua gazed into her upturned face. Two Eagles’ mother was very wise. “I’ve promised to spy for General Washington…I have a duty to fulfill.”
Waneek snorted. “What is duty compared to a woman’s love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms? Duty is what the Earth Mother Spirit has fashioned us for love. That is our greater glory.”
Together, they watched Juliet stroll across the village and pick up a baby that had toddled too close to a fire. Smiling, she kissed the infant and placed the babe in the hands of the mother.
Waneek put her basket aside and stood majestic. “I will not finish the basket today. Better to weave more slowly…and more surely. Then there will be no obligation to unravel what has been woven before.”
Waneek cradled her warm palms on his face. “You are like a son to me, so I will speak. The Horned Serpent, the embodiment of conflicting impulses resides in your heart. Torments keep you away from your destiny. You hide behind wounds. Do not be afraid to be strong.”
“I’m sorry. I must honor my commitments.”
Waneek dropped her hands. “You will remember my words. I hope it won’t be too late.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Juliet stayed for the Christian wedding of Mary and Two Eagles, happy for the two of them, yet saddened for she would never see Mary again. Her spirits sagged with the amount of energy used to convince herself, Mary, her “forever” friend, would not be near anymore. How hard it was to don the mask of emotional self-sufficiency at the ceremony when her own heart was hollow and her future in doubt.
Then afterward, for two weeks she trudged dispirited behind Joshua through the wilderness.Joshua.Even though he strode ahead of her, she could taste him with her eyes, hear the muted undulations of his breath and soft rustle of his deerskin. Even without touching, she could feel his pulse as if it were her own beneath the warmth of a skin she almost shared with him.
