“You are a woman who does a lot ofwondering. Not a bad fault.” He smiled and swallowed his rum in onegulp. “Nothing like a tot of rum under my belt.”
“You are starting to sound like apirate.”
He spread his hands. “I’m on a tropicalisland, no treasure map to follow…what else do I need?” He imaginedher next to him in his hammock, laying her head on his chest, hisarms around her. And he realized how desperately lonely he’dbecome.
She cleared her throat to get him to payattention and he lay entranced by the pulse that beat in the hollowof her neck.
“My only wish is that despite yourchanged feelings toward me, that our friendship will be infinite.For the moon never beams without bringing you as part of my dreams.Each tender caress of yours will never die of weariness, ofwithering, of errors or betrayals, of illness and wounds. For me,our love was eternal.”
The candle flame desperately sputtered, theflame sinking into the melted wax and dying away. A cloud obscuredthe moon. A wind rose, and a light capping of the sea could be seenbelow. Alexandra closed the diary and held it close to her chest,so involved with Captain Sharp and Lady Dabney’s tragic story.
Nicholas grew quiet, too. Of course, he haddrunk a lot.
“Are you awake?” she asked.
“Yes.”
He folded an arm behind his head. Starspoked bright holes in the blackness overhead. The moon, a silvercrescent in the west, emerged from the cloud that shrouded it, onlyto be crowded out by the immensity of stars and planets and theuniverse unfurling its enormous arms above them.
“I never see a sky like this back home. Ifinally understand why the ancients worshipped the sky and namedtheir gods after the wanderer’s overhead that seem so close you cantouch them with your hands.” The stars, the rum, the hopelessnessof not seeing home again, washed over him with a weariness.
She tilted her face to the heavens. “Lookover there. The Tarantula sprawls across the north as Orion’s beltand Orion’s dagger, pursuing each other over the Milky Way. Theyare like old friends, these stars and planets that grace thedarkness, dancing with the waxing and waning of the moon. You cansee the hot and fiery Venus unfurl against the horizon and touchthe moods of Mars, so cold and red.”
Her enthusiasm faded from him. Locked in hisown world, he fought a battle no one knew about. Suddenly he wantedout.
He dropped his tankard, the heavy pewtercrashed on a rock. She bent to pick it up and he stayed herhand.
“I killed a man.”
He was glad for the darknessto not see thecondemnation in her face, yet the night would not cloak the censurein her voice. She would either be the death of him or the one whobrought him back to life.
“I know.”
She had heard the rumors in her remotevillage? Of course, news like that traveled. No wailing ordenunciation of him came from her. She sat quietly waiting for himto continue.
“I must tell you what happened.”
“I’m not here to judge you, Nicholas. I’msure what you did was honorable.”
His fiancée had been less forgiving. LadySusannah Tomkins…her claws unsheathed…the explosive ugliness of herface…her outrage.
Sustained by Alexandra’s empathy, he treadedthrough his murky history. “I box for sport. The physical activitygives me satisfaction and keeps me in shape. I sparred with thetenants on my father’s estate, massive farm boys built from hardwork, eager to take on the duke’s son with no regard for myposition. The fighting was dirty, and I liked it that way. InLondon, I learned speed and footwork, honing my crude skills tobecome the best.”
Nicholas exhaled. “You still do not judgeme?”
“I would not be sitting here if you had notbeen good at what you do. If you had not defeated Damiano, we wouldhave drowned on theSantanas.”
He fingered the pearl in his pocket, felther gaze on him.
“Wallowing in the muck is not a way to comeclean. Out with it, Nicholas.”
He nodded reluctantly. “A few years ago, Iwas at a social gathering in London, and walked into the gardens. Aserving girl was assaulted and because she was helpless, I defendedher. The scoundrel aimed his gun at me…I hit him with a left. Itwas his last breath. Because of his rank in the House of Lords andfamily’s influence, the girl was frightened and changed her storyto benefit her assailant. Due to my notoriety as a champion, myfists were treated as weapons. I was besieged by an army ofgossips, unfair press and the man’s family who wanted me prosecutedfor the murder of an unarmed man. There were no other witnesses. Myfather had to use every ounce of his influence to keep me free ofprison.”
“Never-ending remorse is an undesirablesentiment, Nicholas. You were defending yourself. You should notfeel guilt.”
Her absolution was powerfulthe promise ofrebirth, the removal of past transgressions.
To breathe again.
