“I saw my OB-GYN this week,” her voice cracked, and she swallowed hard before speaking again. “I kept hoping for a different result, but ...”
“Just tell me. Whatever it is, I can handle it.” He rubbed his hands together in a bid to ease his worry. “Is it cancer? Endometriosis? Do you need a hysterectomy?”
Alyssia turned away and stared into the flames, wishing they could engulf her, but they didn’t. She swallowed hard, choking back tears, and then finally uttered the words that she’d once hoped would bring joy, but now only brought sadness.
“I’m pregnant.”
The room fell silent once more, the crackling flames sounding oddly loud and ferocious. Antonio stared at his wife with barely concealed shock. Had he heard her correctly? They’d been trying for years to fall pregnant, with no success, and he’d been starting to think there wassomething wrong with them, but apparently not. He took in his wife’s pale face, her trembling body, and it was all he could do not to stride across the room and sweep her into his arms.
His body started to feel weak, and he fumbled for the back of a chair, sitting down heavily and staring at Alyssia. His mind started racing, wondering how long she’d known before telling him. Or had she just found out? Was she lying to him? No, her face was too pale and shaken for that. He looked at his hands, which were clenched on his knees, and realised that he felt shaky all over. A wave of nausea rose in his stomach, and he had to close his eyes for a moment so as not to pass out.
“Are you …” He cleared his throat. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Trust me, the blood tests and scans … they don’t lie. The midwife thinks I’m about thirteen weeks.” The reply was distant, as if she had already detached herself from the pregnancy. “I won’t ask you for any money or involvement, not if you don’t want to be involved. All I ask is that you give the baby your surname so it’s legitimate, sign the divorce papers, and then we can go our separate ways.”
“You seriously think I’m signing divorce papers when you’re pregnant with my child?” Antonio snarled, hisanger surfacing again. “I’ve half a mind to throw those godforsaken papers in the fire and burn them! As if I couldpossiblydivorce the mother of my child!”
“Go ahead and burn them. I have spares.”
“You can’t be serious! You’re pregnant! At what point could youpossiblythink I’d agree to a divorce? You’re my wife!”
“And you’re an adulterer!” Alyssia shouted back, tears spilling onto her cheeks. She wiped them away angrily, silently berating herself for letting her emotions show, and placed a hand protectively over her stomach as if trying to protect her baby. “I have been loyal to you foryears, and this is how you repay me? By sleeping with other women night after night? By breaking my heart? That’s not a marriage, that’s a lie!”
Antonio stared down at his feet, unable to argue with her logic. Alyssia glared back at him, her anger turning to pity as she watched his shoulders slump. Being a single mother hadn’t been on her list of life events, but if it was what the future had decided for her, then she would have to get on with it. All she could hope for was a civil divorce, an easy pregnancy, and a quiet life away from her husband’s affairs.
She felt like the weight of the world had landed squarely on her shoulders, and it was taking all her willpower just to hold it up. This was not how she’d wanted her first steps into motherhood to go, but there was no turning back now. Abortion was out of the question, and there was no way she was going to give up her child for adoption.
“There’s nothing I can do to make this up to you.” Antonio gazed at her sadly. “All I can do is be there for you during your pregnancy … if you’ll let me.”
Alyssia thought about it, turning the idea over in her mind. Being a single mother was going to be hard enough, so it made sense to take the help where she could. And maybe having Antonio around to help her with appointments and lifting things, moving house, and so on, wasn’t a terrible idea. Hiring movers wasn’t a major expense, given her family’s generational wealth, but it was one she couldreallydo without.
“I’ll keep you informed of the pregnancy’s progress,” she finally agreed. “After the baby is born, we’ll discuss your involvement. Until then, I’ll be sleeping in the east wing of the house, as far away from you as I can get. You can stay here, in the west wing, or you can go to a hotel. I really don’t care which.”
With that, she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room, leaving Antonio to stare into the slowly dying flames. He felt a lump growing in his throat at the thought of being without his wife and unborn child, and it was all he could do not to burst into tears. It was as if his world had quite literally caved in around him, right down to the foundations, and he felt nausea rising in his throat.
His phone started buzzing, and he pulled it from his pocket. It was his father, no doubt calling to berate him, and he declined the call, in no mood to listen to a barrage of abuse. He knew what his father would say – how could he screw up the best thing that had ever happened to him, did he know how much he’d disappointed his family … it was all anger for another time. For now, he tried to think about happier times, when he and Alyssia had stayed up all night talking about politics, or his job, or even random things they’d read in magazines or books. A few memories sprang to his mind, but they were fleeting, and he realised that he hadn’t made her laugh in what felt like forever. In fact, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen Alyssia smile.
He dropped his head into his hands and felt tears spill over his eyelids, the enormity of what he’d done hitting him like a train. Of all the stupid things he’d done,this was by far the worst, and he knew it. The fact that his wife was now pregnant only compounded the severity of the situation, and he felt incredibly weary and hopeless. Finally, after a few more long moments of reflection, he got up and headed to the guest room, where a cold and empty bed was waiting for him.
On the other side of the house, Alyssia lay in the bed she’d once shared with her husband, which felt like it had tripled in size. Antonio’s cologne still lingered on the pillow, a mix of spice and musk that had always brought her comfort. Even when he’d been away for business, the smell had been her North Star, reassuring her that he would always come back to her. Now, that scent would fade until it was just a memory, and she would never find comfort in his warmth again.
She rolled over and pressed her cheek into her hand, feeling tears dampen the pillow. On the other side of the room, a suitcase sat next to the wardrobe where she’d started to pack, only to abandon the task halfway through. She’d meant to continue packing after giving Antonio the divorce papers, but she couldn’t face the task any more. A bit like everything else, it was a job for another day.
2
The next day dawned bright and cold, an early frost covering the grounds with silver. Antonio woke up alone, surprised to see his arms wrapped around a pillow instead of his wife, and then remembered the events of the night before. He groaned, wondering how he could have forgotten something so monumental, and then threw some clothes on before heading downstairs. He probably looked about as bad as he felt, but for once in his life he didn’t care what he looked like.
Alyssia was already in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee and scrolling on her phone. Without even thinking about it, he went up behind her and dropped a kiss on her head, only to be met with a ringing slap. He stepped backwards, putting a hand to his face and blinking slowly.
“Don’t touch me,” she snapped, her voice glacial. “Did you sign the papers?”
“No, and I’m not going to.” He rubbed his jaw where she’d slapped him. “I’ve been thinking about it, and I want to rebuild our marriage. I want to earn your trust again, and I will do whatever it takes to win you back. Whatever it takes, however long it takes. You’re the love ofmy life, Alyssia. Love like that doesn’t just disappear overnight.”
Alyssia laughed bitterly, taking another sip of her coffee. “You seriously think some empty promises and half-assed gifts are going to make me fall in line? I’m not like my mother, you realise. She might have been easy to buy off, but I’m not.”
“I’m not trying to buy you off,” Antonio replied, grabbing a mug and pouring some coffee for himself. “I’m saying, if I have to be celibate forever, if I have to put myself on house arrest … anything. Name it, and it will be done.”
“Do you haveanyidea what you’ve done? You haven’t just slept with someone, you’ve done it multiple times. Reynolds gave me a list of overthirtywomen that he saw you with, and believe me he checked to make sure it wasn’t simply business.Thirtywomen, Antonio!”
