I’m being ridiculous again. This is fantastic. Seducing Jack was the original plan, back before I had ever laid eyes on him. I need him to like me, and getting him to like sex with me is a very straightforward way to achieve that.
I slide closer to him. This is nothing I haven’t done more times than there are stars in the sky. I can do this.
He has realised he is horny and that he can in fact tolerate using me to sate his need. It is perfect. If a little ironic.
We’ve gone full circle. Back to square one. I’m propositioning him. But hopefully this time he won’t reject me.
Jack blinks. He frowns. “You don’t want to, do you? You are still upset with me, but you think you have to.”
What the hell? He can’t know that. Nobody ever sees my reluctance unless I need them too. Nevermind the sheer audacity of him rejecting me again.
“Why wouldn’t I want to?” I smile flirtatiously because I’m not giving up that easily.
His frown deepens. “Please tell me the truth, Dyfri. Say the exact words, say, I don’t think I have to be intimate with you.”
My breath hisses sharp and jagged. Those damn fucking briefing notes. Jack knows too much. About everything.
I stare into his eyes. All I can see is kindness and concern. His lust is muted. I’m not going to be able to coax it back.
“All these years I thought I was an excellent actor,” I huff in bewildered defeat. I’m sure the outrage and agony of my second rejection in one night will hit any moment now.
This night is turning out to be relentless. Unforgiving and cruel. Slashing through all my carefully crafted walls.
His lips curl in a wry smile. “You are an excellent actor.”
“Then how did you know?”
“It was something in here,” he says, placing his hand over his heart. “Something in my heart told me.”
I stare at him. Incredulous.
His expression softens. His hand moves. It hovers near my face as if he wants to touch me, but he is holding back.
“I see you, Dyfri Wyf Jackogi,” he whispers.
My heart is going crazy. It has lost all rhythm and is floundering like a fish on dry land.
“I need to apologise more. Until you believe it.” he says. “Until you know I think you are marvellous and magnificent.”
I’m blinking again. Furiously. What is this man doing to me?
“Can I give you a hug?” he says.
Dazedly, I nod, and the next thing I know, I’m smooshed against his broad chest and his arms are around me.
This time, all the blinking in the world can’t stop my tears from falling.
Chapter twenty-six
Jack
He cried in my arms. Silently, and with great composure and dignity. But he cried. For hours while allowing me to hold him.
Then I gently kissed the tears on his cheeks, kissed my way down his body, and blew him. After that, he fell asleep. Deeply. So deeply that now I know all he had been doing beside me was dozing. He must be exhausted.
I lie awake watching him in the pale morning light filtering through our curtains, marvelling at how different he looks when he’s truly at rest. The careful masks are gone, the perpetual vigilance that keeps his shoulders tense even in sleep has finally eased. His face is soft, almost boyish, and there’s something peaceful about his expression that I’ve never seen before.
Last night changed everything between us. All the careful politeness, the tentative trust, the walls we’ve both been maintaining. Gone. Stripped away by a blazing confrontation and what I hope is now mutual understanding. I know now what my presence costs him, and he knows that I see him. Really see him, not just the performance he’s spent a lifetime perfecting.
