The statement should be reassuring. Instead, it makes me realise just how much I’ve already come to trust him. When did that happen? When did I stop seeing Jack as a potential danger and start seeing him as... what? Safety? Home? Someone who stands by my side?
The thought is terrifying. I walk through life alone. It’s my thing. I don’t fully trust anyone. I’ve carved anexistence out of it. I’ve used it to claw my way to power and influence. The idea of losing it is overwhelming.
What if I lose my loneliness only to be betrayed? I could not survive that. It would break me.
“What if you change your mind?” The question escapes before I can stop it. “What if you decide I’m too much trouble? Too damaged?”
“Then I’d be an idiot.” Jack’s response is immediate, certain. “Dyfri, you’re not too much of anything. You’re brilliant and brave and you’ve survived things that would have destroyed most people. If anything, I’m not sure I deserve you.”
The words hit me like a physical blow. Not sure he deserves me? This kind, genuine man who makes me feel seen for the first time in forever?
“That’s ridiculous,” I manage.
“Is it? You’re a prince. You’re gorgeous and intelligent, and you speak about six languages fluently. You coordinate international conspiracies in your spare time. I play rugby and know a bit about constitutional law.”
“You’re underselling yourself.”
“Am I? Because sometimes I look at you and wonder what the hell you see in me. What could I possibly offer someone like you?”
The vulnerability in his voice breaks something open in my chest. How can he not know? How can this wonderful man not see his own worth?
“You offer kindness,” I say quietly. “Without expecting anything in return. You give gifts just to see someone smile. You cook terrible food with the best intentions. You defend people who can’t defend themselves, even when it costs you.”
Jack’s eyes are very wide, very green in this light.
“You make me feel safe,” I continue, the words pouring out before I can stop them. “For the first time in my life, I wake up in the morning and don’t immediately calculate potential threats. Because you’re there, and somehow that makes everything else manageable.”
Jack’s breath catches. “Dyfri...”
“You asked what you offer,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “You offer hope. And I haven’t had that in a very long time.”
For a moment, neither of us speaks, and all I can hear is the pounding of my heart. Then Jack moves, settling on the floor beside my chair and resting his head against my knee like a large, loyal dire wolf.
“We’re quite a pair, aren’t we?” he says softly. “You think you’re too damaged to deserve love, and I think I’m too ordinary to deserve you.”
“Perhaps we’re both idiots.”
“Perhaps we are.”
I let my hand settle in his hair, marvelling at how soft it is, how right this feels. Tomorrow we’ll go back to planning treason and managing the careful dance of our public roles. But right now, in this moment, we’re just two people who’ve found something precious in each other.
Something worth protecting.
Something worth fighting for.
And I have never been more scared.
Chapter twenty-four
Jack
The basement gym at Downing Street isn’t much to look at, but it serves its purpose. I’ve been neglecting my workouts lately, too caught up in joining the Resistance and navigating married life to maintain my usual routine. But this morning I woke early, restless with energy I couldn’t shake, and decided it was time to get back to basics.
The familiar burn in my muscles as I push through my third mile on the treadmill feels good. Grounding. My headphones pump out something aggressive and bass-heavy that matches the rhythm of my feet, and for the first time in days, my mind feels clear.
I keep replaying yesterday’s tea with Rhydian, the way I somehow managed to handle myself under that intimidating amber stare. The protective fury in my heart when I looked at my brother-in-law and all the ways he had failed. And then afterward, sitting in our living room, the way Dyfri had opened up to me. The trust in his voice when he told me I made him feel safe.
God, how badly must he have been hurt for simple safety to feel like a gift?
