But is that precisely because we have been keeping an emotional distance? If I had never pushed him away, would things have become too intense, too quickly? Would trust have been obliterated before it ever had a chance to grow?
I blink and realize all my clothes are in my basket and I’m just standing here, staring off into space. Get it together, Pink.
I pick up my basket, balance it on my hip, and head for my room.
I’ll never know if giving Monty a clear boundary was the right thing to do. What I should be pondering is, if I want to continueto keep this distance between us. Do I want more? Am I ready for more? Is Monty even interested in taking the next step?
So many questions. So many things to think about. And they’ve all been brewing for a while now. My friends have had so much drama over the last year, I keep pushing all this stuff with Monty aside to deal with later.
First there was Lello and his need for a mate to replace the twisted bond Ritchie gave him. Then all the craziness of his herd abducting him because they wanted a sacrifice to try to open a fey portal.
Then there was Gray settling in with Mal and finding his way back to lucidity. And before the dust had barely settled on that excitement, Sammy fell into Blue’s swimming pool and Blue saved him from drowning and it created a mate bond between them.
It was wonderful how everyone scrambled to help undo it. Monty was lovely and stole some books from the Old Blood library for us.
All that effort, and when we finally unbound them, the daft sods realized they did want to be mated after all.
I huff out a breath. It has been quite a year. A year of ups and downs. While through it all, Monty has been there. Calmly emptying me whenever I have needed it. No kissing, no cuddling, no foreplay. Only very traditional behavior between a mage and a vessel. But somehow still so tender. And mind-blowing. Can’t forget the mind-blowing part.
As my mind goes down a very dirty path, I reach my room and start putting my clothes away.
Sex with Monty is good. Very good. I’ve been enjoying it while my friends have been having crazy times and falling in love. So much falling in love. Even grumpy vampire Ned is clearly enamored with his great-grandson-in-law.
Everyone is settling down. While I just have a situationship.
A sad sounding sigh pours out of me and echoes around my empty bedroom. I put my last pair of jeans away and put the empty basket in the bottom of my closet.
Tea. I need tea. It makes everything better.
With that thought in mind, I hurry down the stairs. I open the door to the kitchen and nearly yelp in fright.
Jade is standing in the corner. His back is to me and his nose has to be an inch away from the blank wall at most. It is like something out of a horror movie.
“Jade?” I try tentatively.
He is so motionless I’m not even sure if he is breathing. Is he sleep walking? In the middle of the day? Has he had a stroke?
My concern overrules my fear, and I step forward.
“Jade?” I try again, this time while placing a hand on his shoulder.
He startles and turns to face me. His emerald green eyes slowly focus on me.
“Are you alright?” I ask.
He blinks a few times. Then he licks his lips. “Yeah. I just haven’t been sleeping well.”
I bite my bottom lip. “Have you talked to Brodie about it?” I think seeing a healer would be a very good idea.
“That’s a good idea,” says Jade, creepily echoing my thoughts. “I’ll go do that now.”
He steps away from me, and my hand drops back down to my side.
“Do you want me to come with you?” I offer.
“No thanks,” he says as he walks out of the room.
I stare at the door. Well, that was strange. Very unsettling. With a shake of my head, I rouse myself and set about making tea.
