His sincerity is going to break me. Here is a man struggling with his own immense grief, yet still capable of feeling genuine concern for a practical stranger.
“It’s fine, it was years ago.”
Apart from Jennifer. But I didn’t know her. I had been trying to learn my lesson and stay away from my only living descendent. Barbara died of TB far too young. Her daughter Susan was taken by cancer when little Jennifer was only twenty. My bloodline seemed cursed and the grief was too much to bear.
I stayed away from Jennifer. But I caused her death. So now I have to make sure nothing ever happens to her children. It is going to be the only good thing to ever come out of being turned. I am going to be able to protect my family. Like I always should have done.
“I don’t think grief gives a shit about the years,” Morgan says. Then he downs his drink.
I sigh sadly. “No. You are right. It doesn’t.”
I still miss Barbara. I miss my wife. I miss friends who died in the war. So very many years have passed, but they have barely taken the edge off the pain.
The perceived wisdom for vampires is that things get easier once you age out of a normal human lifespan. I’m turning one hundred in eighteen months time, so I guess I’ll soon be finding out if it is true.
In the meantime, I feel like an ancient fossil. Lingering after everyone I knew has gone and the world I lived in no longer exists. Everything has changed. The very language has evolved. I really don’t know how older vampires do it. Maybe it’s something you get used to.
“Do you want to watch a film?” asks Morgan.
I open my mouth, but before I can say anything, he continues.
“No, sorry. Forget I said anything. You have better things to do than keep an old man company.”
Old man? Who is he kidding? He is barely forty-five years old. Idiot. That’s not old. That’s barely beginning.
“I imagine you have a boyfriend or girlfriend to be getting back to?”
I blink at him while my thoughts whirl. My oh my, how times have changed. I love that he can ask that so casually. And I’m amused he went with boyfriend first. I don’t blame him. I’ve always looked a little too girly. People have always known what I am. It’s why Nell and I got married. To cover for one another.
“No, there is no one waiting for me.”
A flash of something in Morgan’s eyes makes my heart beat. Damn it. He wasn’t glad to hear that. I’m projecting. The poor man is grieving for his wife. He is not lookingfor anything. I should have simply invented a boyfriend. Then I’d be forced to keep myself in check.
“But I do have to go!” I blurt. “My housemates are doing a dinner!”
He nods his understanding. “Sounds lovely.”
My stomach swoops. “See you tomorrow!”
Now I’m running. Actually running. Grabbing my coat and heading for the door as if the house is on fire. It is for my own good though. And Morgan’s.
I’m leaving him to have dinner all alone in a silent house with only sleeping children for company. And it truly is for the best.
If I stay, I’ll get silly ideas and that will lead to all kinds of disasters.
Morgan is my boss. My great-grandson in law. And that is all he can ever be.
Chapter four
Morgan
Today has been so hard. For absolutely no reason. I hate that grief comes in waves like this. One day I feel as if I can see the shore. Then the next day, out of nowhere, I’m drowning again. All I can do is hope that tomorrow will be a little better.
At least the work part of today is done, and I’ll soon be home. I’ll be able to kiss the kids and then in a few hours, I can escape into sleep and feel nothing until the morning.
As I turn into my driveway, the house comes into view. It looks like nearly all the lights are on. It’s a lighthouse in the dark, guiding me home. My kids are in there. Ned is in there. Everything is going to be okay.
I park the car and quietly let myself into the house. A quick jog up the stairs and I’m in the kids’ room. The house is more than big enough for them each to have their own rooms, but they like being all together and I hope it lasts for as long as possible.
