He startles and then rouses himself. “With a babysitter. From a very reputable agency.”
“You have a nanny! You don’t need flipping strangers taking care of the kids!”
Morgan swallows. His Adam’s apple bobs. “It’s your night off.”
My hands go to my hips. “And you couldn’t wait?”
“I didn’t want you to know,” he says softly as his eyes flutter closed.
Damn, he looks good. Navy blue henley and dark jeans. I only ever see him in suits. This casual look suits him. Really suits him.
Angrily I shake my head in a futile attempt to clear it. “How often do you do this?”
He winces and doesn’t open his eyes. “Would you believe me if I said this was the first time?”
I stare at him helplessly. I swear I can hear sincerity in his voice but surely I am only hearing what I want to hear.
“I’m not in the grave yet,” he continues. “I need…”
He trails off and I jump in. “And a man feels less like replacing her?”
His eyes snap open and cloud with hurt. Deep and visceral. Fuck. I’m such an asshole.
“Marrying Jennifer didn’t stop me from being bisexual,” he says, with far more calm than I deserve.
Our eyes lock. Time freezes. He sees my apology. I see the growing question in his eyes. We are both here for the same thing. Or so he thinks.
Tension thickens the airbetween us.
He is warring with the idea that he could still invite me in, and damn is my heart fluttering at that. I’m tempted, oh lord am I tempted.
But I’m not feeding from Morgan. I’m not biting him and leaving him even more horny than he already is. It is stupid, but I hate the idea of him hooking up with someone else and the thought of him being high on vampire venom while doing it, makes me hate it even more.
Of course, I could feed and then stay.
I swallow audibly. I haven’t had sex since I was freed from the harem. I’m not sure I’m brave enough yet. And sappy old fart that I am, I don’t think my heart could take a hookup with Morgan. I want to make love to the man. I don’t want to be fucked by him.
And none of this, absolutely none of this, is anything I can tell him.
So there is only one thing I can do.
“Let’s…let’s never speak of this again,” I croak.
The light in his eyes dims, and he nods.
Somehow, I turn and start walking away. My body feels robotic and not at all like my own. Then a sudden thought hits me like a thunderclap and I’m whirling around to face Morgan again.
“Delete the photos I sent you!”
Morgan blushes. A beautiful crimson coloring of his cheeks. “Likewise.”
I nod, turn, and this time my body is working, and I can flee. I reach the outside and gulp in a breath of fresh air. Like hell am I deleting those photos. Now I know they are Morgan’s, they are my prized possessions. I’m going to be staring at them every night before I go to sleep.Even though I understand that it is going to be a form of self-harm. I’m going to be torturing myself. But I’m not going to have the willpower to stop.
But that’s a problem for later.
I sigh heavily as I open up Grindr on my phone. Right now, I still need to feed.
As the youngsters say, fuck my life.
